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University:  Miami University of Ohio - MU

Greek Organization:  Beta Theta Pi

Author:  SAE (Sick At Everything)

Comment:  Last Friday night I want to describe to you the events that occurred at “The Fratican” on 321 S Main Street. I entered the party and immediately heard one of the brothers yells “Young cheddy, you get her snap” where he later replied with “Nah brotha, she was a geed. If we want touse allegations, geeds can’t be in the convo.” Brother one then replied, “Facts cheddy, you win some you lose some. It ain’t always home runs and that’s just the way life plays.” After that another beta hopped up on stage and in between songs started a party wide “Ferda” chant. In three short “Ferdas” the entire crowd was engulfed in what sounded like what can only be described as a dragon's roar. Soon after, the “Ferda” brother on stage approached me with the most luscious mullet and described how his dad owns two Corvettes, a Porsche, and a Tesla. He then later described how he was working at William Blair this summer in Chiraq and how he was “finna make dummy bones”. I then blacked out off a glass of “Crisp White” and half a glass of “Chillable red”. Best Tuesday ever.