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University:  University of Southern California - USC

Greek Organization:  Tau Kappa Epsilon

Author:  JQ

Comment:  Our campus is in serious trouble. We don't have victories anymore. We used to have victories but now we don't have them. When was the last time anybody beat, let's say, Lambda Chi, in a trade deal? Teke beats Lambda Chi all the time. All the time. Teke makes the best trade deals in the history of trade deals, maybe ever.