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University:  Elon University - EU

Greek Organization:  Alpha Epsilon Pi

Author:  Yos

Comment:  Oy vey what’s it take to get a good new yawkkk bagel here, the shmear is so much better in MANHATTAN. Did I mention I’m from new yawkkk? I mean if my Knicks jersey and Mets hat and overall repulsive disposition didn’t give it away. you like cocaine? tbh i don’t know how you in-state peasants even deal with this stepped sniff, my high school in Jersey had raw fish scale everywhere. You ever been to the Hamptons? well no, we don’t technically own a place there, but my parents rent this airbnb spot once a yr - peep my ig you’ll see like 30 pics. if ur thirsty i got an open tab at skeeps, order whatever (it’s the only way girls will talk to me). so yea, update on the internship sitch, so no i didn’t get the goldman sachs offer i told everyone for the last 3 years id get. but i did get in with this shop off the turnpike where ill cold call senile old ladies all day trying to sell them annuities. yuh yuh yes, I know I’m balding, hairy, greasy and look 37 years old but i swear I’m 20. did i mention my dad drives a tesla. u up? pls respond