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University:  Arizona State University - ASU

Greek Organization:  Delta Tau Delta

Author:  Cop E. Pasta

Comment:  "I EdItEd ThIs cOmMeNt sO ThAt yOu wOn'T KnOw hOw iT GoT So MaNy lIkEs" After finishing his edit, he begins laughing heartily as he saves the changes to his previously tolerable comment. His chuckling comes to a steady end as he fully relaxes on his chair, closing his eyes. Suddenly, his eyes shoot open and his face violently straightens. He stands up, and fully extends his arms straight and outwards to his sides. His body begins slowly levitating upwards, seemingly breaking the very fundamental rules of reality itself. As he goes against all logic and reason with his vehement hovering, his eyelids drop and rise up again to reveal godly lights beaming from his eye sockets. A disembodied heavenly choir resonates from the abruptly omniscient man. A deific shock wave is fiercely expelled from his body, leveling his house and the surrounding neighborly architecture unworthy of his divine presence. Screams are heard from all directions, from both his family, neighbors, and bystanders walking by. Before continuing his ascent, his lips part to deliver one final message to the mere mortals surrounding him. "I HAVE ACHIEVED, MAXIMUM, COMEDIC, PERFORMANCE." He looks up, and with one swift movement, launches to the heavens, to properly acquire his ownership of the universe itself.