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University:  University of North Carolina at Charlotte - UNCC

Greek Organization:  Triangle

Author:  Square

Comment:  I once took the saying “be there or be square” farther than I really should have. It consumed my life..... Until one miraculous and enlightening evening.... I was watching Lizzo perform a spectacular concert as the sun was falling upon the skyline of Charlotte. At the same time that the sun was falling so was the gorgeous Lizzo. I watched as the heel of her shoe could no longer withstand the intense pressure of her beautiful weight upon it. The heel began to bend and then BOOM it snapped. In that moment she began to fall towards the front of the audience. I turned my body and ran away to save my life even though I was 10 yards away. The incoming shock wave would have caused the second Hiroshima. As I began to run I saw 5 men in the front row with triangles on their shirts do something spectacular. As fast as a professional fortnight player building a tower, I saw one of them whip out a TI-84 calculator and begin calculating while another one went ham on CAD, at the same time another triangle boy built a CNC machine. The remaining triangles started welding. the resulting creation was nothing short of an engineering feat of perfection. In the 1.83738 seconds of Lizzo falling, they had created a superhuman, Ironman-like suit, built to withstand even the most destructive of events. Everyone thought lizzo and the entire crowd would be dead in moments. But no. Right before she hit the cold, hard, alcohol soaked ground, the hand of this bionic super beast lifted her from certain disaster. He picked her up and carried her back onto the stage, saving the performance and the lives of many. I witnessed history on that day. The men of triangle deserve a noble peace prize for their actions on that glorious afternoon. After that day, I no longer wanted to be square.... But rather... Triangle.