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University:  George Mason University - GMU

Greek Organization:  Zeta Tau Alpha

Author:  #DOOKIELOVESMATTER

Comment:  A very long time ago, in a time darker than we currently reside in. Many questioned the cause of the dark age we were experiencing. I have known for millenniums the truth behind it, and I am ready to share my story. It all began one day in 1992 B.C. Zeta Tau Alphas spiritual founder, Zeds Dead, had just been born. The Zeta Tau Alphas claimed that it was this EDM artist that was the true son of god (obviously this has since been disproved as Jeffrey Epstein is the son of god). Many disputed their claim, calling their BEEP BOOP music unholy and borderline satanic. This led to a huge divide in society and caused a crusade like never seen before. For centuries the world banded together to defeat Zeds Dead and the Zeta Tau Alphas but their efforts proved futile. Every-time it seemed like there was hope, Zeds Dead would unleash a new and more powerful array of bass boosted incoherent sounds. Civilization had no choice but to succumb to Zeds Deads will. Zeta and Zeds Dead had all the power, their alliance turned into the religion which is now known as Mormonism. After they won the war, they all took the largest dookies ever seen, and created a stench so foul, that scientists believe it is solely responsible for climate change as we know it.