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University:  George Mason University - GMU

Greek Organization:  Alpha Phi

Author:  UH OH STINKY!!!!

Comment:  I remember the first day of freshman year. I remember it vividly. It was a simpler time, a time with no worries, no stress, just pure bliss and happiness. However this feeling quickly faded when I saw something resembling a mongol horde of the likes only Ghengis Khan could conjure. As they approached on their horses like cavalry, I squinted to see what their shirts said. Then I saw it, the greek letters Alpha and Phi. I was in shock, I had no idea what to do, for the first time in my life I felt truly threatened and scared. To this day I have PTSD from what transpired next and have to take anti-depressants due to how much it scarred me. The horde of Alpha Phis swiftly circled me on their horses. They got off of the horses and all of the horses began neighing in a demonic manner. I did not know what to do and was very flabbergasted as to what was happening. They began reciting verses in Latin which I since found out was a Satanic ritual summoning a portal to hell. They all began chanting, Rush Alpha Phi! Over and over, they were persistent in this bizarre ritual, after roughly the eighty-seven thousandth time of repeating this phrase, a portal to hell opened up, Satan himself approached, and began chanting with them, Rush Alpha Phi! The sisters then said to me “you’re so dope and look like you could kill 3 white claws without blacking out, so we wanted you to meet our spiritual leader, Satan the Almighty. I was in a genuine state of shock. I ran away as far as I could and hid in the bathroom in SUB1. Once I hid, I dropped the largest dookie of my life (unsure if this was due to their satanic ritual). Ever since this haunting moment in my life, I have often contemplated self harm. Please stay away from this girls for the love of all that is holy.