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University:  University of Virginia - UVA

Greek Organization:  Alpha Delta Pi

Author:  DKE

Comment:  So my bros and I met an Alpha Delta Pi one night. And it was like really cool. So we went back to our frat house for a 3 some. And it was going well. So we had the girl on the bed and it was getting interesting. And then us two bros started to kiss one another and it was getting hot. And then we began taking our clothes off. By the end of the night I found true brotherhood with one of my bros. We never ended up doing anything with the ADPi chick since we got too into each other. We took her home since we found true brotherly love together. I really no longer see the need of sororities. Who needs sororities when brotherly love exists? So the lesson of this story is that love can be found in the presence of young men finding true love with one another. I petition that UVA dissolves sororities as it is an outdated system. I propose an even greater proposal than our founder Thomas Jefferson writing the Declaration of Independence. This proposal is that is more manly for a man to be in the company of other men. We ended up talking to the ADPi girl about our proposal. We called her up. She responded. And agreed. So I am now under the belief that we are on to something. Something groundbreaking. Something new. Something that will change the world. I feel like a prophet. I feel like Moses. God has given me the new update to the Ten Commandments that fraternity men should be free to love one another. I feel like I have changed so much for the better. So I began to wonder... can UVA make this mission possible? It seemed so clear it was possible and it could happen. I began seeing visions just like the prophet Muhammad. Each night they became more detailed. Until finally it was revealed to me. A revelation of what is yet to be. That sororities should not exist unless they are sororities of men. So this is when I had my theory. A good theory indeed. I now needed to prove it with a rigorous mathematical proof. Sorority - females + males = fraternity It made so much sense Without girls and sororities a true brotherhood was possible The equation so simple So elegant So true So profound I had to contact someone from another faith to confirm this I talked to a rabbi from NYC And he looked over the proof and agreed I am now devoting many precious moments of my summer to finish my work I now have to say ADPi is a decent sorority. Probably low to mid. But ratings are subjective. But science is not. So I began to write a powerful algorithm So much power in one algorithm But this algorithm is so insightful that I cannot post it here I sold it to Google Last I heard Google uses it now to measure subjectivity of rankings I can’t remember what programming language I wrote it in maybe C++? I tried to write it in C but I didn’t like not having the power of object oriented programming. Such power in one object. But here I prove my point. I am not awaiting the results of my work.