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University:  University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill - UNC

Greek Organization:  Pi Kappa Phi

Author:  Chef Stoot

Comment:  So I done been locking up my kitchen and putting barbed wire on all entrances but these friggin kids keep getting in and eating up my tendies. I even put a security camera up and the footage shows that they're just straight up eating em raw dog. I just don't know what to do anymore... Therefore, I've decided to employ a secret agent by the codename of Meatball to guard my kitchen and to ensure that they don't mess with my tendies. I will have my justice one goddamn chicken tender at a time.