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Poster Name:
Jesus

Poster Message:
I'm not going to give you any slack here. You've just arrived at Cornell and your primary focus and anxiety is derived from the eventuality of joining a top sorority. It's sad. Adjust to school, get to know the social scene, go to class for god's sake. I'm not pretending that both men and women consider such things upon arrival-- it's natural. However, you've literally written on a greek ranking site that you're considered "cute but not a bombshell." Get a grip. You're at Cornell, you're intelligent, don't act so stupid.