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Well… is right on. You never HAVE to list your legacy chapter(s). However, I personally would find it really odd if a legacy did not have a rec letter for her legacy chapter, and then if you don't register as a legacy (even though a rec saying you were a legacy was sent), that seems a bit weird; to me, anyway. This is not a school where chapters will know what other orgs (besides their own) you are a legacy to unless you tell them, so informing groups of your legacy status should not hurt you. The thing that concerns me most is that you seem to have already written off one of your legacy chapters. I'd say that's kind of disrespectful to the chapter here, as well as to your relative (even if she understands chapters are different). You might click with people in this chapter, and it is ALWAYS a good idea to keep your options open by acknowledging (and being grateful for) your legacy status and trying to make good connections with ALL chapters. Good luck to you