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I think this is something it is easy to not realize as a PNM. Many PNMs are sad when they are released from a chapter they love, and wonder "how could they make such a quick judgment without knowing me! How superficial!" but at the same time THEY are making a quick judgment about a chapter based on one conversation or factors like "was the house cute/were the members pretty/etc." The process is nuts by necessity, there's no other way to make it work with over a thousand women going through. Ignore tent talk, stereotypes, this site, and give every sisterhood a chance to invite you in!