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Try rushing one of the frats without a house. They have more relaxed expectations. Lots of frats have guys who are quiet etc. you just need to connect with someone. The fact that you said you rushed two and didn’t get a bid is concerning. Honestly, with your mood swings, you won’t want the top houses....too much action/drama. With what you described, There etc is no “bottom” house as far as you are concerned. The goal is to,get in one