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What is "less desired"? Do you give out serious party girl vibes or are you more academically oriented? Is your look a fabulous natural beauty or is it glam makeup all day long? Do you have an out-there personality or a more laid back querky sense of humor? Is your wardrobe Bohemian style, or classically chic, or bougie, or totally casual, or only the latest trend for you? Are you sporty? Horsey? A leader? A follower? Is politics your passion? Is a life of service your calling? Is your faith important? Uptown city or down home country? What's desired and appreciated in one group as BEST FIT is less desired in a different one, but that's not the same as not being good enough. It's about finding your people, not a one size fits all. "She was sweet and cute but I can't see her in our house...she's perfectly okay but we didn't connect...I liked her but I really see her in XYZ..." These are the real comments that happen in membership selection. You seem to be imagining a mean girl ridiculing session, like in a bad movie about sororities, but it's not like that IRL.