big sisters

My big was crap, so you are not alone! I think mine was just too immature and selfish to be a Big. She was just mean, made fun of me behind my back with her friends, walked right by me at the house and intentionally ignored me, started rumors about me to validate her being mean to me. I was so uncomfortable I stopped going to the house, until my older sister pointed out that the house was just as much mine, as hers! Trust me, I know it’s hard not to take it personally, but she is really the one with the problem! You will never have that relationship, so let it go. You will be a great Big because of her! Not everyone is going to like you, and you will not always like others, but you can always be kind

First of all, I’m sorry you are having issues, and if you feel you are being bullied, go and talk to someone! It is never OK to treat someone like that! Honestly, most of us aren’t BFFs with our Bigs. I think of them more as mentors, but some girls are close. It takes time and effort to create a relationship, maybe invite her to get coffee, she may be nicer than you think!

I'm a recent alum of my sorority but still in school here and I had some issues with my big too. I really love her, and she loves me, but we both went through a lot of personal stuff and kinda caused us both to shut down. At the time it felt like she was ignoring me and everyone else had a big that went out of there way for them. But now I see that I also wasn't there for her and shouldn't expect a friendship to be one sided just because it's a big/little situation. Truthfully she needed me, or at least someone, and I couldn't see it because I was hung up on what I felt like she was bad at. We talked about all of this eventually and it helped our relationship. But as a freshman it felt like everyone else had such a fun, caring big and mine wasn't. It did help me grow as a person because I was only thinking about my side and not hers. It also helped me see how I wanted to go above and beyond for my little to break the cycle of girls that didn't get involved or care as much in our family tree. And it worked! My big did go inactive eventually, but I got very close to another girl in the pledge class above me and we adopted each other as big/little after her little went inactive too. As far as any girls younger than me know, she's always been my big and that's our family tree. You're relationships might not be conventional, but that's okay! It's what you make of it and it might work out in the long run!