collegiate memories
by: Bond of SisterhoodMy best collegiate memories in the mid '80's take me back to my sorority days. Sisterhood/legacy meant something to females in the small southern town where I attended college. Benowns to me ahead of my first day of college my mom was diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer. My aunt was the administrative assistant to the university president and her daughters/my cousins were both Phi Mu's in the late '60's early'70's.Needless to say I was encouraged to go through Rush that Fall'79.The actives knew about me even though I I had never met them. The acceptance I felt from the very first time I was introduced at a Rush ice cream social gave me strength to endure what I would face my freshman year. I pledged Phi Mu in the fall, was initiated in January and in February my mom passed away. My sorority sisters became my family providing a home away from home. Even though losing my Mom/my best friend was the hardest thing I'd ever faced as a young 18 year old freshman in college,my sorority sisters believed in me.They voted me as spirit chairman then later became the Panhellenic delegate my Jr/Sr years. I know what the bond of sisterhood means. I have held the dream of one day passing on the legacy of Phi Mu/Greek life to my daughter(named after my mom)very close to my heart. MSU Recruitment 2016 didn't bring that to pass.The feelings of rejection faced last week are real but they don't define her.She carries herself with tremendous grace&poise knowing Phil 4:13 is her source of hope.
#11by: still
Houses violated these courtesies. Yes there were legacies that met all of these conditions that you mention...
and they were still cut for??? girls who had no credentials, girls who had lower grades, less community involvement, fewer letters of recommendation or none at all
We have done the research legacies were cut for no other criteria than the fact that current actives chose to cherry pick from their home town.
Legacies yes are extended one party invite, but when carried until the last night and then cut because they were not from Madison or Columbus or Tupelo or the Delta? You are going to have upset alums. Guess what, life may take you somewhere beside these locations and in 20 years apparently your daughter will only be judged by the town you end up living in.
Comment#12by: Moneybags
They don't get it. Wasting our breath. They obviously have no idea what the founding principles of their sorority are. They don't get what those four - five or six ladies were trying to do all those years ago when they founded these fraternities in those little rooms in colleges far away. They don't understand, nor do they want to. Sisterhood is so much more than they seem to be able to grasp. It is a life-long gig.
They don't understand that there are those who came before them who have made their particular sorority what it is - or isn't today.
by: Jane
Look girl. Quit acting like a twit. One day YOUR DAUGHTER WILL HAVE THIS HAPPEN TO HER. It won't be so blasé then. Stop thinking if these PNMs as objects.
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by: Lolol
I could care less if this happened to my daughter because she will understand that being in the same sorority of her mom isn't the end of the world and I will understand that too. We could fill a whole pledge class with legacies. Some are going to be cut. I promise you there is always going to be someone more qualified than your daughter or more personable than your daughter. You can say whatever you want about how we run things but legacy status hasn't mean much for awhile now. Clearly we are doing something right because these last few years my chapter has consistently awarded best chapter in the nation even though we cut a lot of legacies. Get over yourself, your daughter isn't any better than the rest of the legacies we cut. I'm sorry she has such an immature and bratty mom like you, that probably factored into your daughters personally which probably contributed as to why she was cut.
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by: Bond of sisterhood
@senior I want to personally thank you for demonstrating much grace under fire. As a Greek alum I applaud you for handling the input of several generations posting. I know it's called a sorority girl gossip site but it's provided valuable information and answers to many PNM's questions, PNM Moms questions Alum questions OOS questions etc.etc I'm sorry so much of your time during your first week of senior year had to be spent doing this. In retrospect in business we're taught humans naturally resist change, especially abrupt change but when time is properly given to explain the new process...the transition period is still met with grumbling/lack of understanding or whatever....but at the end of the day it is more smoothe....simply because folks just need time to wrap their arms around it. Now because I'm over 50 I admit it was difficult being from out of state to round up 3 rec's per house...in fact there were 3 houses we had no ref for just because as earlier stated I'm an 80's girl that's moved away from home base. As I've learned my daughter couldn't have received a bid from a house she didn't provide a ref for...the confusion that entered our minds is why is she staying on their bid list then...all the way to snap bid...that's the main our daughter felt unprepared to accept, sign and be obligated to $3-5k annually....we've taught our children reassure to decide something on the snap means don't do it...you need more time to think it through. Thank you again for your time!
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by: ...
@Bond of sisterhood While every sorority must have a recommendation to issue a bid, some of the smaller sororities will have an alum advisor write a recommendation. If they really like a PNM and think she would contribute to their sisterhood they will reach out to alums in her area for a recommendation or have an alum advisor write a recommendation. This was probably the case with you daughter.
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by: Senior
@Bond of sisterhood - Thank you for your kind comments! Like someone said below houses will find a rec for a girl they really like. It happens rarely in my house, probably 3 girls that I know of. Normally our advisor will say we can't keep her she doesn't have a rec and if we like her enough everyone shouts in protest. So then the alums contact everyone we could possibly know from her hometown to find someone to recommend her, even finding someone who knows her that knows an alum then having that alum write the rec. So it doesn't happen too terribly much, but it can happen. If a chapter needs the numbers and like a girl they'll do it which is what happened with your daughter. I understand her being reluctant to take a snap bid to somewhere she doesn't see herself. I really hope she reconsiders though because it's a great opportunity to make that chapter into something amazing, not to mention there is a whole new group of girls that just pledged there that she didn't meet during rush. There is always spring rush, but normally only 2, maybe 3 houses spring rush, and with those getting such large classes this fall they may not be able to. Either way, I hope it woks out and she is happy.
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#14by: Bond of sisterhood
@....thank you we were wondering how houses knew PNM's without receiving their resumes....especially for OOS students....funny though we were instate GTR through kindergarten graduation....I'm just thrilled God moved us back to the real bulldog country :)
#15by: To be clear.....
Just to clarify.....though every sorority must have a recommendation to issue a bid, if a PNM is desired by any chapter, they will work to obtain a recommendation for her. The poster above made it sound like only "smaller" chapters do this, but that is incorrect. I made a last minute decision to participate in recruitment two years ago. I obtained recs to only a couple of sororities. I ended up in one of the larger chapters. I was later told that they got me a rec. I was surprised, but thrilled. Of course, I can't speak for every chapter, but I've talked to girls in most chapters who have said the same thing about their recruitment experience. I just wanted to clarify that.
by: bond of sisterhood
@just to clarify I can tell you are very very sharp to the way real life is....outside of college....the phrase "it's not what you know but who you know in life thats truly the connection needed to get your foot in the door"after that you're on your own because promotions are based on what you know about TEAMWORK you'd be a candidate. .I'd bring back for 2nd/3rd interview. I see you as someone that truly desires to "shake up the establishment"...I think there's a paradigm shift taking place here that says perhaps the tide is turning...maybe we should take a closer look at OOS legacies i.e. really good school districts where property taxes are high,do exist! Parents can send their children to high schools that are "omg public"with that private school feel...save all that private school money for college tuition. As a parent of two amazing "career path is already set" college students I'm so blessed that they already know what it's like to be NEW somewhere...to leave their generational legacy/roots behind and trail blaze in global markets like entrepreneurial management.....some of you know what I mean because you already know what it takes to survive in 21st real world business-thats global...and you haven't been helicopter parented in a private school environment with an elitist mindset...if you can relate to this you will do really well in the 21st century!!Best wishes class of 2017 #bemaroon..I post for your benefit ..if you get upset you're telling on yourself..THINK1st
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by: @bond of sisterhood
I think it's already starting to happen with some houses. I cannot speak for others, but for mine this year we took girls from over 10 different states and many other states over the past few years. It's a slow shift but I see the progress because the year I rushed we were vast majority MS, TN, and a few AL or LA. "The only constant is change."
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#16by: Agent of change
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by: ...
We understand that's why your daughter probably wasn't chosen she wasn't going to continue the legacy in the direction a certain chapter wants to go. You can call and complain as much as you want but if your daughters in another sorority and she's happy or if she's not either help her prepare for a better rush next year or the next step in her life. Complaining on this websites not gonna help anything. Arguing with girls who are members of any sorority on this campus isn't going to change anything my sorority wanted to take 115 girls we were forced to take 77 we would've loved to take those extra girls we couldn't.
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