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collegiate memories

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My best collegiate memories in the mid '80's take me back to my sorority days. Sisterhood/legacy meant something to females in the small southern town where I attended college. Benowns to me ahead of my first day of college my mom was diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer. My aunt was the administrative assistant to the university president and her daughters/my cousins were both Phi Mu's in the late '60's early'70's.Needless to say I was encouraged to go through Rush that Fall'79.The actives knew about me even though I I had never met them. The acceptance I felt from the very first time I was introduced at a Rush ice cream social gave me strength to endure what I would face my freshman year. I pledged Phi Mu in the fall, was initiated in January and in February my mom passed away. My sorority sisters became my family providing a home away from home. Even though losing my Mom/my best friend was the hardest thing I'd ever faced as a young 18 year old freshman in college,my sorority sisters believed in me.They voted me as spirit chairman then later became the Panhellenic delegate my Jr/Sr years. I know what the bond of sisterhood means. I have held the dream of one day passing on the legacy of Phi Mu/Greek life to my daughter(named after my mom)very close to my heart. MSU Recruitment 2016 didn't bring that to pass.The feelings of rejection faced last week are real but they don't define her.She carries herself with tremendous grace&poise knowing Phil 4:13 is her source of hope.

Posted By: Bond of Sisterhood
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#1by:    
#1    

I am so proud of my daughter from this past week.

She showed tremendous character in spite of the challenges of such a stressful week and disappointment.

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Jer 29:11

She won't be a legacy but she will succeed.

By: Love this
by: By bond of sisterhood   

"...to give you Hope and a Future." Jeremiah 29:11 Thank you for being the example your daughter needs to be an overcomer. The world has so much hurt and pain...more so today than ever before. Thank you for leading by example for your daughter what it means to represent something you believe in as an alum for your sorority. As a parent I'm glad to see the Greek system still views academics as a top priority today. Many universities now do Recruitment after a student has 12 credit hours along with a 3.0 to sign up. This allows freshman students time to acclimate to college life and being on their own. It also allows Actives a chance to select members based on the students performance. It gives PNM's a chance to see what Greek life is like while school is in session.... that way both Actives/PNM's are able to make more informed decisions. This world could use more problem solvers/solution seekers instead of more critics and naysayers. Thank you for teaching not only your daughter but others how to remain positive in the midst of disappointment.

By: By bond of sisterhood
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#2by:    
#2    

Yep. Right there with you. My daughter is a double legacy that was cut by my Chapter. And I am absolutely furious.

By: Righttherewithyou
#3by:    
#3    

Double kd legacy.... Cut. Very very sad.

By: Yep

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#4by:    
#4    

My daughter too was released from my legacy house last year. She found her home in one of the newer sororities on campus. I have been so pleased and happy to watch her "blossom" in a smaller house. She has made great friends and was able to take on leadership roles as a Sophomore. I have to admit that sometimes I'm still bitter with my legacy house but my daughter is in the right place. This house is a powerhouse in the SEC and my advice is to get involved and support your daughter and the new chapters at MSU as they have the unique opportunity to help build and be the foundation for future generations.

By: Mom
#5by:    
#5    

Hey moms! Get off is Greek Rank. It's pathetic that you are on a college web site. We are the ones in college not you.

By: Gah!
#6by:    
#6    

Please remember some chapters have over 100 legacies, or more, come thru rush and pledge like maybe MAYBE 30-40 depending on how big the chapter is (Chi O would pledge less with a smaller PC than say DDD with a larger one). I know it hurts when you are cut form a legacy house, or when your family member is, but well over half the legacies are.

By: Lawd.
#7by:    
#7    

As far as cutting legacies: if you cut the legacy - then my $400 donation each year to National AND the local alumni chapter is also "Cut." I know they won't miss it, but it made me feel better. Especially when they had the audacity to send me a "Friendly Reminder" regarding my contribution. As far as moms getting on here - we pay the bills, young one.

By: Moneybags
by: @moms   

Just because you pay for your daughters sorority doesn't mean it's any less pathetic for you to be posting on a gossip website aimed for catty college girls. Grow up, I would be embarrassed if my mom was posting on here. If you have an issue with a sorority not taking your sweet angle of a daughter then call nationals and complain, what are you accomplishing by posting on where . You look so stupid. We could fill a WHOLE pledge class of legacies which no one is willing to do that. Unless you are a big time legacy with friends in high places them your daughters legacy status means nothing.

By: @moms
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#8by:    
#8    

Some of us are on here trying to figure out what the heck happened! We have extremely sad PNMs who were cut by everyone else because they were double legacies to a particular house and then were cut by THAT house, leaving them with NOTHING. In my case, she had heard stories of Greek life all her life and had known her mother's sorority sisters forever. How do you explain this to them? It is just very very sad. Also - this thread was about Greek life in the 1980's. You probably weren't even born.

By: MSU Alum
#9by:    
#9    

I totally understand how you are feeling! My daughter was also cut by my sorority a couple of years ago. I always dreamed of my daughter being a Chi Omega and thought that being a legacy with great grades, lots of community service, and good reputation would mean that she had a great chance of getting a bid. The only negatives were that I wasn't a Chi O at State and she was coming from out of state and didn't know anyone When rush started, I found out how things really work here. If you don't have friends who are members, your chances are very slim of getting in regardless of being a legacy. It is just a fact! All of the members want their friends, sisters, cousins, boyfriend's sisters, etc... to. get in and really could care less about the legacies who have no one on the inside to fight for them. The sad thing is that one day these same members of Chi O will have daughters going through rush and there is a great chance that their daughters won't get in either. It is just sad to me that legacy means nothing to this generation. Anyway, my daughter did end up in a great house that she loves with all of her heart so hopefully if she has a daughter one day , she will get to follow in her mother's steps and become a DG.i will definitely not be pushing Chi O on her because that burned me this time!

By: Understand
by: @understand   

With all due respect, legacies help a girl but that is not the end all be all. If my house offered every girl who was a legacy a bid, we'd have +120 ladies in a pledge class. So we look at the girl's recs, how she clicked with the actives she spoke to, and what legacy connection it is (not all chapters are equal). We want to keep legacies but must also open the doors for others as well.

By: @understand
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by: .......   

Thank you @understand you are spot on!

By: .......
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by: @....   

No problem! Im not sure why I was down voted for something all houses, at every chapter in the country, do when faced with this problem.

By: @....
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#10by:    
#10    

Wow. We get it - legacies mean nothing. It's who you know. Both of the angry posters above say the same thing that @understand stated so eloquently.
I hope 20 years from now, when you send YOUR daughters through Rush that this is no longer the case. I also hope that the two angry posters above meet younger versions of themselves.
I AM an alumni of Mississippi State. A Greek Alumni. And I am extremely disheartened to see that this is what is now filling the houses on Greek Row. But I thank you, because if you are the example, then the aforementioned legacies aren't missing a thing.

By: MSU Alum
by: @MSUALUM   

The only thing panhellenic is supposed to do for legacies is bring them back an extra day out of courtesy the rests is purely your daughter. How are her grades how involved was she? Did she do something that made her stand out from other PNM's? I met girls who got the opportunity to travel or volunteered in different places within their states as well as out of the country. Could your daughter hold a conversation? While this might seem easy sometimes girls honestly can't seem to do it. Was she genuinely interested in her legacy? Because we can tell when girls are faking it. Sometimes you want your legacy more for you daughter than she wants it for herself. Was she a fit for her legacy? Because as much as you might wanted your daughter to be your legacy your legacy might not have been the place where she belonged and they realized that so they let her go so she could find her true home. Yes in a house full of 100+ people you can find friends but honestly there's nothing like being in a house that you know you belong in and feel comfortable in. I can understand why parents are upset but they need to realize rush is a two way process and your daughter could be at fault too.

By: @MSUALUM
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by: @MSUALUM   

The only thing panhellenic is supposed to do for legacies is bring them back an extra day out of courtesy the rests is purely your daughter. How are her grades how involved was she? Did she do something that made her stand out from other PNM's? I met girls who got the opportunity to travel or volunteered in different places within their states as well as out of the country. Could your daughter hold a conversation? While this might seem easy sometimes girls honestly can't seem to do it. Was she genuinely interested in her legacy? Because we can tell when girls are faking it. Sometimes you want your legacy more for you daughter than she wants it for herself. Was she a fit for her legacy? Because as much as you might wanted your daughter to be your legacy your legacy might not have been the place where she belonged and they realized that so they let her go so she could find her true home. Yes in a house full of 100+ people you can find friends but honestly there's nothing like being in a house that you know you belong in and feel comfortable in. I can understand why parents are upset but they need to realize rush is a two way process and your daughter could be at fault too.

By: @MSUALUM
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