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rush disapppointment

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I just don't get it. My daughter is going through rush as I write this. She's pretty, smart (good grades), lots of activities, and a rec for almost every house; yet she only got 3 bids back ( out of 11) on the first preference day. I'd just like to understand why. I'm searching for something to say to her to help her through this. She's devastated and I'm so afraid this will undermine her confidence and ruin her Freshman year at Mizzou; something she was so looking forward too.

Posted By: Cami
Page 5 of 5
#41by:    
#41    

Baloney. The system is set up so that if you make it to pref, you'll get a bid. That is, if you don't cut any houses because you just don't feel it yet. If there are a hundred PNMs and ten houses, each house gets ten. If there are 1800 PNMs, and ten houses, each house gets 180. But the huge classes are, well, too big, so YES to more chapters.

By: RFM
#42by:    
#42    

3. Getting into college requires test scores. Being in a sorority is about who you are as a person and what is important to you, as well as your goals for academics. There are plenty who would fit in just fine, but we can't give everyone a bid because then it would not be special. And it IS special to be a part of a greek organization. The sense of entitlement that just because you go through recruitment that you deserve a bid is wrong -- you're not entitled to anything.

4. This is not to cut down young women. If you do not get an invitation back to our chapter, it is one of two things -- either we did not feel that you were what we were looking for in a new member, or we genuinely liked you but you fell through the cracks because you did not have as many people in the house pulling for you. This can happen to small towners, out of staters, or girls who don't have a lot of friends in Greek Life. Our recruiting methods are ours to know, and until someone is a member that is something that will never be disclosed. This isn't picking the prettiest girls to be in "clique." We have ideals of sisterhood, scholarship, and philanthropy that all of our chapters were founded upon when we colonized. Our alumni advisory boards make sure that we take all of this into account during recruitment. We're selecting the best, most well rounded girls who we think are worthy of being a part of the ideals of our sorority.

By: savethedrama
#43by:    
#43    

My daughter just went through rush and received max call backs and had three interested going into bidding . I think she was a "fall through the cracks" girl. She got no bids on Sunday.
She has a 3.8 GPA , did lots of community service and is a beauty (if I say so myself). She was from a small school and did not have any active members pulling for her. She is devastated, as this was very important to her. I think a few posts are hard on the Mom's replying. I am not a helicopter Mom, I just want my daughter to be happy and what should be an exciting time in her life has become very painful for her. I think everyday she will get better, but as a Mom we want to help our kids through the tough times.....and maybe those criticizing the helicopter Mom's will understand when they have a daughter of their own, (oh yea but they'll be legacyed in)

By: fellthroughthecrack
#44by:    
#44    

First of all, legacies are not guaranteed anything. It's unfortunate, but it's true. Secondly, it sounds like she obviously did fall through the cracks. Have her contact Sigma (if they were really under quota), maybe they can snap bid her? Or maybe SK since they are probably still under total? Otherwise she might miss homecoming, but she could possibly COB a house later? Hope that helps. Anyone close to her mother, understands you feel her pain just as much, if not more. Good luck!

By: no

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#45by:    
#45    

Thanks for the info about legacies, you can tell I don't have any background with Greek system but I do appreciate the suggestions and the well wishes. I will let my daughter know. Thanks...

By: fellthroughthecrack
#46by:    
#46    

I want you all to know that what was posted before is COMPLETELY FALSE. I am a senior here at Mizzou, and on the exec. board for my sorority. I spent one year going through formal recruitment as a freshman, and 3 years on the other side. If a girl single preferences a house (what some people are calling "suicide bidding") they are NOT put on a list. No house has any way of knowing they single preferenced, or "suicided". This is a rumor that has been going around since I went through recruitment in the fall of 2011. We discourage young women from single preference bidding because it does not maximize their options, and in our opinion it is better to be greek (even in your 2nd or 3rd preference house) than not be greek at all. Please congratulate your daughter for me, I hope she finds everything she is looking for in her sisterhood. Her sorority is so lucky to have her! However, I did want to inform some of the parents that yes, we discourage single preference bidding, but it does not put them on a separate list, and chapters (as well as PHA) has no way of telling that they single preferenced. I hope this helps. :)

By: Greek22

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