rush disapppointment

Things turned out well. She had two choices in the end; she liked them both. She got her bid today and seems very happy with the outcome. I know she ended up in a good place and she'll make us all proud. Thank you to everyone who contributed to this discussion. I wrote my original post to try and understand the process and how it works. I understand the process better now but I still don't like it. I feel it undermines too many girls, takes away their self confidence and makes them think they're just not good enough. I feel for those girls who didn't get any invites back and were eliminated early on through no choice of their own. I don't think that's what the Greek system was designed to do. It's suppose to promote all women; build on their strengths and abilities and encourage them to be the best they can be. This system starts with tearing them down.That being said, I know that they can't take everybody; somebody has to be cut and therefore gets hurt in the process. I don't know what the answer is, but I know there has to be a better way of recruiting members. Maybe we should work on changing the system somehow. Thanks everyone for your concern and for listening. I had no idea, that one simple post would spark so much interest.

Cami! Congratulations to your daughter and her new sisters for making a great choice! I hope she will be truly happy and try to be as involved as possible. You get out what you put in!
It's true the process is very intimidating and can be humiliating, sadly, for many young women. I hope she embraces her new greek home and remembers what it's like for others next year during recruitment. Maybe she can be the one to help bring about the changes that could improve the system of selection. I know you may not want to share, but we would love to know which house snagged this great new member! My daughter is in a house and just LOVES it. Maybe they are Sisters now? Anyway, good for you mom, for reaching out for some input to share with your daughter!

I'm not sure I should share the name of her sorority; only because my daughter doesn't know that I've been blogging about her experience (I'm hoping she doesn't even know about this website). She seems happy for now and I don't want to adversely affect her or her new relationship with her new sisters. I'd be easy to connect me to her and her sorority since I used my real name and not a pseudonym. Again, thank you all for caring. Think about what we can do to change the system.

Cami, did you really say "Think about what WE can do to change the system?" REALLY? Earth to Cami, you are not in college. You are not part of the system. The system works amazingly well and, by far, the majority of girls are happy with where they wind up. And here you are, with a daughter who has been part of Greek life for a day, suggesting that the system be changed. It's not for everyone and it may be the first of many times your child will be disappointed on the way to adulthood. But if you sent her away to school, for God's sake let her live her life and figure out who she is without you -- because my guess is that you have been micromanaging her life far too long. I think that when you said in your original post that you were afraid not getting into a good house would ruin her freshman year, what you meant is that it would ruin YOUR freshman year. Step back, take a deep breath and stop living through your daughter. Time for BOTH of your to grow up and act your age.

glasshalffull and Omg
You are the very reason people have terrible stereotypes about Greek Life. You are clearly NOT compassionate people and I feel sorry for the houses you are in. Please grow up. Girls talk to their moms because they can TRUST them. Apparently neither of you have that capacity. Here's hoping you develop empathy towards others. The alternative is scary. When you continue to bash others while hiding your identity, you will be judged on your bad behavior. Get used to it. This site is open to the public and we are tired of small minds like yours.

I was educated on Sorority 'Recruitment' as my niece experienced it at MIZZOU. My involvement happened because I know many sorority ladies & asked for 'recs' on her behalf. I learned 'recs' hold very little weight.

First, my biggest complaint is for the girls who received ZERO invites back after the first two days of bonding, excitement, and hope! Money was paid for the 'chance' to become a member of one of the multiple sororities. According to my sources (from many different houses) all the 'recruitees' were vetted & ranked as their applications are submitted - in other words, as one of the largest recruitment classes in a long time, the girls that received 'zero' bids did not stand a chance before they ever crossed a threshold. Isn't that just a way to take/steal the application fee of these girls but more importantly leave a negative & deflated feeling in the spirit of young excited new college students.

Second, If you don't know the rules, how can you play the game? The ratings/ranking scales should be made public. On every university/college application these girls knew what the criteria was ahead of time for admission. It may be more acceptable if the recruitment fee was returned to all who received 'zero' bids after the first two days as well as those who received a taste of this process & decided to leave.

Finally, sorority life may be wonderful but not at the expense of those sitting in the dorms tonight wondering, "What is wrong with me?"

If a girl gets NO invites back after the first two days, there must be something wrong with her grades. Grades are the first cut. If she didn't have any involvement, didn't know anyone in the house, didn't have recs, and had terrible grades in high school, she won't even be considered. Also, some girls just aren't what the houses are looking for. And the money you paid for recruitment was for the shirts and meals that were eaten in the dining halls. SO.. You basically paid for three shirts and to move in early.

With a smile.....I say, "Lame!"

Again the question is posed, "How can one play the game if they don't know the rules?" All the recruitees made it in to a wonderful and select university! All the recruitees receiving 'Zero' bids paid a lot more than the t-shirts were worth!

here's the deal...there are less slots available and many more girls to rush. It's a numbers game...great girls fall through the crack...very sad...There probably needs to be more sororities...This has been going on for many years and it gets worse every year.

But watch out if you are in a new sorority, the mean girls on this site will attack you relentlessly. I have difficulty understanding why anyone feels the need to be so vicious. Evidently, those who aren't confident are compelled to do so.