rush disapppointment

Greek life is not for everyone. I was very fortunate that I was asked back to the max number of houses and joined a place where I am extremely happy. My roommate was asked back to a limited number of houses and while she had a choice of three on the last day she opted not to join a sorority. We are both seniors now and still close. I have wonderful friends in a great house, but are my friendships any better or stronger than those she has made as a non-Greek? Doubtful. There are many ways to find a niche at this great university. There are clubs and organizations and multitudes of majors and even more ways to make lasting friendships. There is no one correct way. Please do not let your daughter think her identity can be shaped only through a sorority. And please let her know that "to have a friend you have to be a friend" is one of the best lessons I've ever learned and it doesn't just apply to Greek life. If she joins a house she will make wonderful friends. If she doesn't, she still will make wonderful friends. It's all up to her, but the majority of women at this school are NOT members of a sorority, so there is no reason she should think that being and independent means being a failure. And one more thing: give her some space to make this decision on her own. If she is sharing every detail of rush and you are living it with her, you are far too emotionally invested. She will be just fine if you let her figure it out for herself.

how your daughter is doing. She didn't drop, did she?

Tell her to hang in there and make sure the houses that she goes to know that she likes them and can see herself as a member. This isn't a time to be coy and standoffish, waiting to be courted. The houses have too many choices to chose girls that don't want their house.

Cami, You are right to ask these questions. Sadly this process is difficult for everyone because it's so competitive at Mizzou. Your daughter should be herself and give the houses that WANT HER a chance. It's too bad, but pnm's dont get to choose. Houses choose them, so give them a good reason. SMILE and be friendly and engaging. With all the houses having something wonderful to offer, she would enjoy any of them. Being Greek is a wonderful part of college. You should check our www.greekchat.com where there aren't any mean girls. I find it appalling how this site shows girls to putting each other down instead of pumping each other up. Please don't think this is the majority.
Best of luck to your daughter today. Hoping she has a good preference day. Love from one mom to another! Please post and let us know how it went!

Your daughter sounds like mine. Your daughter is not alone.

Cami, obviously the negative post person has never had a daughter going through this stressful week. I am amazed that the PNM's can adjust to such hectic schedules of recruitment and looking their absolute best while being away from the security of their home, not to mention chatting it up with complete strangers. I can remember being so overwhelmed with all the beautiful girls going through Rush (as we called it) over 30 years ago. I was from a small town and didn't feel I had near what other girls had to offer a house. The girls in recruitment today come from homes with parents who want only the best for their daughters, and hope their daughter can find a niche in such a large university. That, my friend, is not being a helicopter parent. That is called LOVE.

I wish the administrators at MU would read this string and realize the kind of misguided priorities they are promoting among students and parents with this Greek system.

Cami,

How did things work out for your daughter? I hope that you are happy with the outcome!

I'd like to know, too!

Me Too!