rush disapppointment

Tell her to stick with the invites she got back for those parties. If the house saw enough in her to invite her back, try to get to know them better. A lot of egos get bruised during recruitment. There are some girls who got NO invitations back. The rules of recruitment require each sorority to make "cuts" each day, no matter what. There are 200+ girls in each house. Your daughter sounds like she could be a great asset to the three chapters where she received invitations. No matter what house she joins, she will still be pretty and smart. Encourage her to keep going with the process. Joining as an upperclassman is actually even harder. There are great things about every single house at Mizzou.

(Note: At this point, it is "invitations," not "bids." A bid is a formal invitation to join, that comes after preference round(

This is such a heartbreaking experience. All I can say is that your daughter should want to be in a sorority that wants her, and it sounds like these three chapters want her. Every sorority made "cuts" and those three chose NOT to cut her. She should really try and "trust the system" and stick with it. Give those three chapters EVERYTHING she has.
At the end of the day, every sorority has sisterhood, participates in Homecoming and Greek Week, has a beautiful chapter house, has socials with fraternities, focuses on scholarship. The Greek experience is there, no matter WHAT chapter she joins. So please try and encourage her to see it through and really give those chapters a chance.
She shouldn't blame the three she has left for the short sightedness of the other chapters.

my worst fear: what if she gets zero invites tomorrow?

what does COBing stand for and how do you get in on it? Thanks for the advice. It still doesn't make her feel better though. There has to be a better (easier) way to let these girls down.

I agree with the poster above. My daughter got invited back to six sororities on the day that she could have gotten nine invitations. Some of the invitations were from more "desirable" houses and some not. Some other girls were gloating that they had gotten asked back to nine, which was the most invitations a girl could receive that day. The final "cut" day, my daughter had three invitations, which was the most possible that day, and some of the gloaters had none. I had to tell my daughter to trust the process. The final day, she had the choice of two houses that she did not want at all, and her favorite house. She decided to "suicide" bid, and only put her first choice down on pref day. That way, the decision of whether or not to go greek was technically hers. She got her favorite house, which is one of the sororities which is considered most difficult to get a bid to, but the process was confusing and painful. Tell your daughter to trust her gut, and she should be fine. There's just a lot of competition this year. Sad, but true... Best of luck!

This is heartbreaking.
I do have one word of advice. do NOT let your daughter "suicide" a chapter. All that does is severly limit her chances of getting into any sorority, including the only one she wants. RFP is a very complicated algorithm, and if your daughter "suicides" a house, it puts her on a list and heightens her chances of not getting a bid to that chapter, even if they want her and she wants them. It is a complicated math/computer system. do NOT let your daughter do this.

you say not to let her suicide a chapter? What if she only gets one invitation?

This thread brings back such a flood of memories ! My daughter went through rush several years ago and had a similar experience. She received pref invites back but not from the ones that she thought she wanted. She stuck with it and took a bid from a sorority that she was not sure she was comfortable. Well I am here to tell you she has thrived in this sorority ! She is very active and holds leadership positions both in the sorority and in many organizations on campus. The sororities are so large that you are sure to find girls that you love! The rush process at Mizzou is one of the most competitive in the country. I sometimes shake my head when I hear about different greek organizations behaving badly and trying to rank the groups. It is very hard to get established on a campus and it is no wonder the newest sorories are grouped at the bottom. I would hope that the campus would show greek love for all or they will not grow. It seems very parallel to joining the SEC. The football team isn't really winning a lot and its hard to compete against these well established teams and recruit like an Alabama. However, given time and support they too will be a true competitor ! Hopefully the greek system will grow and others will thrive and develop friendships for life! Girls, hang in there and you will find a home and a place to hang your hat! Mom please encourage her to explore every possibility and become part of this great campus Greek life!

That is considered suiciding. It is only suiciding if you are invited to more than one chapter on pref day and only pref one.

sorry- meant to say it is NOT considred suiciding if you only go to one house on pref day.
And COB stands for Continuous Open Bid. After recruitment, a campus "total" is calculated (based on an average of the chapters and the number of greek women). If you chapter isn't at the campus total, you can have other women join (women that, obviously, aren't in another sorority) until you get your chapter to campus total.
There are usually a few chapters that have a few spots to fill.
It isn't a guarantee, and shouldn't be someone's plan.. but it is definitely an option for the few women who go through recruitment and don't get a bid anywhere.