advice on sorority

Remember - because you signed an MRBA card and accepted a bid, if you quit you are not eligible to join another sorority at Mizzou for a full calendar year.

You really are not going to get good answers here, and the truth of it is that no one can really answer this for you.

No one can tell you how COB would go for you. Don't know who will be COB'ing this year. Don't know whether you would get a bid or not, and if so from who.

Will things get better for you in the house you are in? Don't know that either.

You really have to decide for yourself what you think is the best path for you.

You can't COB this year. You accepted a bid and, even more important, took the place of someone who might actually give the house a fair chance. If there is not one person you can connect with or relate to among the scores or women in your pledge class or among the hundreds of women who are members then, I hate to say it, YOU are the problem. I think you need to quit and spend a lot of time in the next months/year figuring out who you are and what you want before you screw over another house.

Stick it out a few more weeks, at least through Homecoming. Sometimes it takes awhile to make some connections, I'm sure you have not met everyone in your PC yet. Give yourself some time before making this decision.

this is going to sound SO clichè, but when they say "trust the system" actually trust the system. I'm a junior and have been on both sides of this. I remember when they would say this to me and I was so confused and frustrated, but it actually works out in the end. Also, that girl should not have said what she said. We are trained to NOT pressure you like that, so I'm sorry that happened. You didn't click for a reason. Don't go for that sorority of there wasn't that spark. This is just my opinion.

Rumors are that MANY houses were not following PHA rules and were doing things during recruitment that was NOT approved - like making promises like the one you received that didn't come true.

It sounds like you were the victim of one of those houses.

Well there are some on here who are not going to like this but maximimizing your options and trust the system are heavily geared to filling all the houses. Your Pi Chi should have not encouraged you to list a house if you felt strongly about not fitting in after going there a few times. I know our Pi Chi did and some girls dropped and others suicided. What most don't want to happen is for people to drop after bid day and as mentioned, take the place of someone who might have been happy with that bid. I fault Panhell and the Pi Chi's a little here but even so it is a difficult process full of frustrating moments but for a great many is rewarding.

During homecoming you will spend a lot of time with your pledge class. There will certainly be firs you will bond with over time. Remain open, positive and approach new girls at each event. It will happen.

I cannot possibly tell you what you should do in terms of sticking with the sorority that did you offer you a bid. That is a personal decision only you can make.

What I CAN try and shed some light on for you is this -- your "top tier," top choice house doesn't seem to display the values you seem to be looking for. Don't get caught up in the fact that they dropped you and feel less about YOURself.

At the end of the day, could you see yourself belonging to a sisterhood that didn't extend you a bid in the first place? Would you EVER want to be the sister that shatters a PNMs heart like yours was? Maybe your "top" choice really wasn't half as wonderful as YOU are.

Meanwhile, another sisterhood sought you out. They didn't trick you, they didn't lead you on and they genuinely CHOSE you over the hundreds of other women they could have picked to fill your spot. I totally get that you might not "click" right away. But honestly, you clicked right away with women who hurt you and ultimately didn't want you.

Just my thoughts -- take them or leave them! But in my experience in life (friends, BOYS, greek life) go where your loved and valued from day one. They probably see within you the wonderful person you are. No bid promises needed. That, to me, is what it means to "trust the system." You end up with people who love and support you. Would you really have wanted to end up in a sisterhood that lied to you?

You define your letters. Remember that.