"no-rec" ????

Yes, someone can "not recommend" you in a rec letter. But normally that is if you have a bad reputation or they know something awful about you (extremely bad grades, naked pictures, etc.). Just because someone comes off as unfriendly doesn't mean that they wrote you an no-rec. Did you write them thank you letters for writing your recs? Were you nice to them?

Most alums will not non-reference a girl who has asked them for a recommendation. They just won't send anything in and let the situation sort itself out. You have to be pretty awful to get the non-reference because it will be all over campus like a wildfire and the alum will have signed her name on it. However, if someone is an absolutely god-awful person they make get a non-reference from someone they have NOT asked for a recommendation. But the pnm will have to have done something pretty bad to get that person to drop the no-rec.

I don't know how it is with others, but for our alumnae, usually if the PNM is really awkward or has bad grades and the alumna knows about the competitiveness of Alabama, the alumna will just choose not to mail in a Rec but tell the PNM she did to be polite. Some alumnae get really persnickety about attaching their "good name" to a Rec and don't go around recommending everyone who asks. A non-Rec is a big red flag, and if it's bad enough, other houses will hear of it as well.

What the others said-> a legit "no rec" is rare and you probably wouldn't be surprised if one was written for you (ie, you sleep with everyone else's boyfriends, you've been to rehab, etc).

Sometimes we get "info only" recs. Those are for PNM's whom the rec writer doesn't know well enough to positively endorse, but they still turn in a rec with just basic info about you (GPA, list of activities, family info) and if the chapter loves you, you won't get cut for not having a rec.

I've seen rec writers fill out the form and leave the "recommend" box blank. On occasion they will describe how a PNM was rude or something of that nature. Sometimes it will also just say CALL ME and be left blank. Rec writers beat around the bush or might be vague or have a polite way of saying that someone may appear qualified on paper, but she is "better fit for another sorority". BTW, I would also suggest thank you notes to your rec writers, it takes a lot of time to complete the form, and if she paid for the postage, that is the least you can do. If you do join a sorority, that rec writer will just remember that girls from XYZ don't say thank you

thank you notes! Not only is it good manners and something you should have already done, but it is a reminder to the ladies who might not have gotten around to doing the rec yet.