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drop and try again or stay

by:    

I need honest opinions from current members. I went through rush and instead of suiciding listed both houses figuring that if I got my second choice I would go into it with an open mind and give it a shot. Bid day I was super sad but tried to put on a smile and I have been attending events, going to meals, and really trying. I just can't get excited. I have bonded with a couple other pledges who were also disappointed on bid day but besides them have not really connected with anyone. Everyone is very nice, but I'm just not feeling "at home". I am considering dropping and trying again next year but I am worried I will get dropped by houses just because I dropped this house. Is it worth it? Should I stick it out and go through initiation and try to make the best of my time there? I was so excited to rush and thinking about not being part of a house I can be excited about makes me really sad.

Posted By: Conflicted
Page 1 of 1
#1by:    
#1    

This is a hard one. If you think you can make friends, keep trying. All of the houses at BAMA are great! Hoping you can find your home and way. If not, there are so many other ways to get involved. Wishing you great success!

By: Bama for the Win

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#2by:    
#2    

You've got a month or so before initiation. Give it more time and go to every activity offered, including meals. If you still don't feel like it's a good fit, then drop before initiation and try again next year. But stick it out. You never know.

By: Stay
#3by:    
#3    

Stick it out. You can’t go anywhere else til next Fall anyway, and unless you had some sort of objective glaring deficiency that you are able to correct, you’re unlikely to have more options next year.

Also, your experience in the chapter is mostly on you. That might mean you need to initiate social contact with your MC. If you’re big/temp big isn’t inviting you to stuff, ask her what’s going on. Step up, volunteer, dive in.

There’s a bigger difference between being Greek and being a Geed vs being in one chapter or another.

If you can’t find your niche in a chapter of more than 300 women, that might be on you.

By: Tide
#4by:    
#4    

1) If you want Greek life you have to stay. It will be near impossible to get in somewhere else next year.

2) It takes time and effort to make friends. No one has to be your bestie in the house. Again if you want to be Greek, you have to stay and make the best of it.

Otherwise drop.

By: Stay
#5by:    
#5    

If it’s one that’s consistently ranked “low tier” on here, just drop while you’re ahead because it doesn’t get better. You’re witnessing your sorority at its peak right now (right after Rush) and if you’re already not loving it, that’s a bad sign.

By: truth no one will give u
#6by:    
#6    

Also try connecting with new members who ranked the chapter as their first choice and members who love the house. Sounds like you are hanging out with others who are wallowing in misery they didn't get their first choice.

By: maybe
#7by:    
#7    

Unless there’s some extenuating circumstance, you won’t have any more luck rushing next year even though you’ll technically be eligible. Your only chance at getting into another sorority is through getting a COB spot next year by having close friends in another house, and your chances would still be slim in that scenario.

At the end of the day, you got the house you’re in for a reason; they wanted you more than any other house did. I know it sucks to see everyone else getting their top choice and having the experience you wanted, but continuing to feel sorry for yourself and pondering “what could have been” will not help you have an enjoyable experience.

There’s no harm in sticking it out until initiation at this point, as you can’t rush another house until next fall either way. Continue throwing yourself all in with activities and events, keep an open mind and try to connect with girls that you may not normally talk to. I also second what another comment said about seeking out girls who preffed the sorority or seem to actively enjoy it/want to be part of it. They may give you a different perspective.

Once initiation rolls around, if you still aren’t feeling it then drop, but understand that you most likely will not be a part of Greek life at all. Just trust your instincts. Best of luck and I’m sorry that your experience so far hasn’t been what you wanted(:

By: real advice

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