are any fraternities both nice and elite?

Phi Gam probably fits the bill here, but there are plenty of "non-elite" fraternities with cool, nice guys. Keep an open mind.

What are the Athletic frats around here?

Pike is an athletic meatheady/steroid frat but thats the only one that comes to mind.

And Old row is full of average looking guys with cash and connections

Yuhhhhhh

What is your definition of elite?
All fraternities are exclusive in that they determine how many pledges they will accept each year and who the recipients will be. Fraternities don't have quotas and don't even have to participate in a formal rush. It sounds like what your asking for is there a fraternity worshiped on campus? The answer is no! If your idea is that a fraternity is a snob society and that is what you are looking for then you are not the type of member houses are looking for.

A personality of a Fraternity changes every year as members graduate and new members come in and with that change how they fraternity behaves changes.

“Elite” and even more so “exclusive” are typically not correlated to “nice”. Especially when one is an outsider, which the OP seems to be given the question and posting on GR.

If you aren’t known and wanted, don’t expect a warm welcome from what are considered “elite/exclusive” frats (or for that matter any elite/exclusive organization ). \n\n\n\n\n