please help
by: In Need of Advice…So I was set up with Fred Baker for Sigma Chi winter formal by a friend but I have never met him. I was doing some research because all I really know is that he’s like…really into wine. It turns out his name in the Dwarven language is madroc cluzmadior. After further investigation I realized this is an anagram for The Zodiac Killer…so is Fred Baker the Zodiac Killer? If you have any evidence for or against this theory please tell me
#1 by: Leta Lestrange
Dear In Need of Advice,
Fred Baker is one of the rarest and most fascinating specimens that Sigma Chi has acquired over the past 4 harvests. Also known as "Frod Barker, Borks McCorks, and Bakes McCake," as a young child Fred overcame both an obscurial affliction and a maledictus curse. In this regard he is widely considered to be the second "Boy Who Lived".
Raised in the humble forests of Connecticut, from a young age Frod has shown affinity for wine, fine food, and egregiously priced Nike sneakers. I would not go so far as to definitively pin Fred as the Zodiac Killer, but his somewhat frequent disappearences and rogue behavior do beg the question: Is fred harboring Voldemort in his cerebral state?
In regards to your formal I feel strongly that Fred will be a delightful and electric date. His sense of fashion, survival instincts, and mastery of english prose will ensure you will have an evening filled with laughs, jokes, and dare I say... a kiss beneath the mistletoe?
Cordially,
Leta Lestrange
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