Feeling like a loser

NO!! Why would you do that? Your legacy houses are not the end all and be all- be open to what other houses have to offer. You need an open mind.

That’s very normal!!! Those houses asked you back because they think you’d be a great fit, and you want to be in a sorority where you are wanted!! PNMs, stop thinking about rankings!

My gamma chi told me something along these lines when I was in your predicament freshman year— look at the girls who’s in line with you during the last 2 rounds especially pref because those are possibly your future sisters. If you feel like you fit in, stay, if you don’t, drop— You can drop from pref and do spring rush or fall again. They don’t look down on you in any way. A lot of people say “stay!! you’ll love it” but that’s everyone’s go to saying. They didn’t regret that THEY did not drop but YOU might. Don’t let anyone’s past experiences influence yours. I re-rushed the following year and loved my house. You can always go forward and try it out and if you don’t love the house drop before initiation. I remembered what she told me because it made me more aware of how I pick out my friends and friend groups. I’m glad I had her as a gamma chi because she was so wise and took everyone’s feelings into account. Some girls didn’t get the house they were a legacy of and still went thru with it and loved it but others refused and loved it even more.

Don’t feel bad about them not picking you. It doesn’t make you any less of a person. You might have had one good conversation and got poorly ranked by the second girl at the same house. There can be many external factors but the problem wasn't you!! Don’t think of the title or the fact that you were a legacy; think of how you feel there—> do they welcome you, do they make you feel comfortable, are they supportive, etcetc.

You need to understand that with the number of girls going through rush, it’s not necessarily that they didn’t pick you. It might be that with the number of girls they liked, they had to draw a line, and maybe people you didn’t talk to had to draw that necessary line. Please don’t take it personally!!

DO NOT let these rankings on this dumb website determine where you would like to end up. I (very unfortunately) did that, as many freshmen do and I regret it to this day. I chose the sorority that was in a ~higher tier~ rather than the one I could see the genuine sisterhood at. I am no longer a part of Greek life at all because I could not find any genuine friendships in the house I chose. PLEASE go with your gut. I was also dropped from my legacy houses and felt horrible about myself but you must remember the houses that really want you to be there have kept calling you back. Do not let this superficial process make you feel any less valuable and wonderful than you are.

Ask yourself - do I really want to go back to a house that didn’t want me?