pls explain

Yes someone please explain how this really works.

Mutual selection is such a crap term, I wish it would go away. The reality is it’s only “mutual” if more houses are inviting you back than there are parties in the next round. If all 6 sisterhoods invited you to Pref, THEN your priorities are considered. Or if 4 do and your top 2 were part of that 4. Otherwise, you’re only going back wherever you get invited and yes I agree there’s nothing mutual about that.

Pref is where it changes. If you have a Pref invitation and maximize your options when you sign your Pref card, then your rankings are considered first. If you’re on both house’s top bid list, you get your first choice. Or if your top choice hasn’t made quota no matter where you are on the bidlist, if your name comes up before they make quota, you get your 1st choice. The system is set up to place 80-90% of PNMs attending Pref with their #1 choice.

PNMs-you do not cut chapters.

You will rank your favorites at the top, and any remaining chapters become your "back-ups." If all your favorites invite you back then you will go to those chapters the next day. If any of your favorites do not invite you back, your back-ups come into play in the order that you have them listed. Note that even your back ups have to invite you back for them to appear on your schedule.

Getting your bottom ranked chapter means that not enough groups ahead of that one invited you back. But, that at least that house saw something in you that they were willing to look at you again. I'm shocked at how many PNMs cut off invitations because they didn't "feel a connection". Maybe you needed to MAKE a connection.