should i drop alpha phi ?
by: scared
I'm in a bit of a bind right now, I met with alpha phi along with two other sororities for preference and knew for a fact I could not fit in at aphi. I even told the girls that so they would not waste a bid on me. I could see myself at my top two easily and even had conversations with the girls from both sororities about how much I wanted to Be there. I ended up putting aphi as my third choice, even though I considered not maximizing just because I knew I wouldn't be a good fit there. Bid day rolled around and I saw my card and my heart dropped. I tried to make the best of it last night, but the girls I encountered just proved to me it wasn't a good place for me. Most of my conversations were awkward and the ones that weren't were about boys or partying.
I'm not a big partier, I'm not boy crazy, and most of all I care tremendously about my gpa and it seems like they don't as a whole. Idk what resources they have to help me, but Idk if I'll even make it that long to have to find out.
Idk what to do in this situation. Everyone else was so happy to run to their bid day buddies yesterday and I was just so sad. I want to give them a shot, but I'm worried this is the worst thing I can do.
#1by: Maybe drop
I would give it BBN, your first exchange, and maybe a sisterhood event to truly see if you fit in. Bid day is one of the worst days of the year, but as you meet people, you'll make friends! If you absolutely hate it, drop. Alpha Phi is expensive so if you don't like it then don't waste your money
Comment#2by: Hey
First, Calm down. Take a breath. Then try to find some new members that you think you might like to be friends with. Concentrate on the new members, because most of them, no matter what sorority, are wondering if they made the right choice and if they will ever fit in?
Invite other new members to walk to the house with you, walk to class, sit with you in class, etc. grab a coffee with some new members. Go to the house for your meals. Go to all the events. I promise you that there are other new members as well as initiated who study hard. You just need time to find your people.
If initiation is approaching and you really aren't feeling it, then resign. But until then, try your hardest to make this your home.
#3by: Aphi
#4by: Agree
I definitely agree with the post above! Bid day is kinda like rush where your bid day buddy and the girls you talk to won't represent the whole sorority. I have a ton of friends who aren't like that who are alpha phis! Just go by the house on a normal day and I promise they'll be there!
#5by: Yooo
Give it time. I literally had the exact same experience as you did (different sorority though) and thought that my time would be miserable. I agree with the comment that said to go to every event, eat meals at the house, and invite your sisters places. The more effort you put in, the more effort they will put in. Eventually, you will get so close that no effort will need to put in to enjoy company, and I can guarantee you will love your sisters! Time heals everything!
#7by: 3rd choice is a charm
Thankfully your third choice saw something in you that the other chapters didn't or they would have ranked you higher. You've been given a bid by a really awesome chapter. Trust the system and get to know your pc. There are many new members like you in all of the sororities that are feeling apprehensive right know. It's really overwhelming at first but I guarantee you will find girls that value the same things you do in aphi. Good luck.
#8by: Sydney
Look at all your sisters before you drop. I am a ... it doesn't matter and I think they have some GREAT girls. Hang in there you will not be the only one with the best grades. My cousin had girls in her Chi O pledge class that left LSU after 1-2 years due to $$$ problems or grades. No sorority is full of perfect girls.
#9by: cu'61
A "morning after" sure-fire cure: Take 3 ibuprofen and a big breathe, then sit down at your computer and surf the APHI net. Google the Arizona Phis, the CA Phis, the Sisters in OR and WA State, the Phis in N & S Dakota and Nebraska too. Keep going to the east coast where Pennsylvania offers much great news, along with Delaware and NY too. Check out Kentucky and Clemson, U. of Texas and TX Tech as well. Keep going until you feel 100% better. Then, call either a PNM from Bid Day or an active Sister and go out for some food and a good conversation about why being an ALPHA PHI is the best thing that's happened to you since coming to LSU! You will find out how truly lucky you have been to receive a bid from one of the finest sororities in the NPC!!!!!!
Good luck little Sister and AOE!!! From one who KNOWS!
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by: Seriously
I wasn't trying to be harsh...just be careful. I also agree with the advice above. Trust me, you were not the only person who had their heart set elsewhere. This happens at EVERY single level. Truly. APhi is pretty solid middle and they have not been here long. They will continue to improve and you can be a part of that. Also, and I mean this in the nicest possible way-they saw something in you that the others did not. That is just a fact. Your best bet is to take a minute to grieve and then move on. Oh that ache will be there for a while, but as you make new sisters it will fade. We have all wanted something badly and didn't get it. We move on. Give it your best shot. Not a droopy half hearted attempt, but a real go after it just as if you got your first choice. It will UNDOUBTEDLY be a failure if you make no effort. You have to get over your preconceived notions. As if 250 girls are all boy crazy and don't care about grades and party relentlessly. It just is not like that. Then, if you have stuck it out for about 6 weeks and you still aren't feeling it...drop! Just try first.
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