How to be confident talking to girls in other houses?
by: qi went through rush this year and got a bid to a bottom house. i didn't really have any good conversations during rush i was nervous and nobody in my family ever rushed before (pacific northwest not a big thing). i had theta and gphi for a couple rounds bc i had good grades. i am honestly so sad at tcu. my roommates is in the same sorority as me but the other girls in our hall seem like they're having so much more fun. i talk to them like saying hi but am so intimidated by them. i feel like they must be better than me bc they got into better sorority so why would they even want to be my friend. i can literally feel myself acting weird around them bc im so scared of them. in high school i had a lot of friends and played soccer. i'm friends with some girls in my sorority but i feel like i can't even talk to anyone who isn't in my sorority. how can i get over this? should i transfer? it literally feels like i can't even try to be friends with 90% of the school
#1by: Get over the letters
First of all, buying into the tier system is a common freshman thing and most people see the reality and start getting over it their second year, and by junior year nobody cares and they make friends across the board with people they like no matter their affiliation.
Second, rush on the other side as an active is a great bonding experience within the sorority. After you go through that and see if you don't feel closer to your sisters and appreciate them and have more pride in your sorority and those letters.
Third, you are not being judged like you think you are and you don't need to be judging others like that either, including yourself and your own sorority. You need a serious, mature reality check: Greek letters do not define anyone, and that goes both ways for better or worse. There are some pretty low girls in 'top' ranked houses and some gorgeous sweethearts in 'bottom' ones. Forget about everyone's affiliations and focus on them as just people.
You seem to still be stinging from your recruitment experience, but that's over and done with, and now you have an opportunity right in front of you that so many girls would KILL for: sorority membership is a once in a lifetime experience that you won't ever get back again and this is the one you have now and forever, if only you will just see it. Try focusing on all the good in it and quit comparing - you know, "comparison is the thief of joy", and all that?
If you transfer you will just take these same problems with you. If these feelings of inferiority, or fear of missing out, or social anxiety, or whatever they are, are affecting your daily life then you should consider getting some professional therapy to help you pinpoint and deal with them. But don't blame them on sorority letters.
Commentby: q
so i do think there are gorgeous girls in my sorority! ik that rush is not a perfect process and girls get missed but i feel like it almost doesn't matter. once someone knows the sorority it's like im prejudged and i don't think its in my head bc i can feel the vibe shift. maybe it is just freshman year stuff but its such a **** welcome to tcu. the other comment is super harsh but i feel like its closer to the truth of how im feeling. if i transferred somewhere where i wasn't automatically considered off i know i wouldnt be this sad
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#2by: truth
by: q
okay but couldn't that be said i ended up there for a reason? i'm pretty sure the reason is just bc i was shy bc i was overwhelmed. i think if i did it again it would be better bc i know what to expect now but honestly this is exactly what im scared people think about me when i tell them my sorority
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by: WTF
Honey, you're initiated, there is no do over. You do need some therapy if you think a sorority is the source of your problems and would be the answer to them. Get some professional help for your insecurities and get off ****ing greekrank.
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by: *********
That’s the most ****ing stupid take I’ve heard in my life. Yes, the sorority your in matters. Yes, how it is perceived matters. If you tell a guy ur an adpi, he will absolutely walk away. Truth be told, drop and get a sorority consultant. Manicure ur socials and **** and start anew. At a superficial ass school like TCU, if ur in a bottom sorority, no matter how chill you are (which likely u aren’t because u said ur nervous), you will be ****ed. Drop, get a consultant, and work on yourself. Ask why you aren’t in the house you want to be in. Yes, looks matter but there are Lizzos in Zeta as well. Develop a sorority type personality and get in there playa!
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