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what if you don't like your house

by: Curious

I know you need to give some time to see how you click with a house. I followed all the rules, maxed my options and accepted my bid but it wasn't the house I truly wanted. If I keep trying but just am not happy is this my only choice now if I want to be in a sorority at all? If I drop will I be blackballed in the future?

Posted By: Curious
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Page 1 of 2
#1  by: Answer   
#1    

You are not bound to a chapter until you are formally initiated. Hopefully you will find out you made a good match over the next few weeks. Give them a chance.

By: Answer
#2  by: -   
#2    

I would wait until right before initiation. Put in an effort, attend all of the events, try to make friends etc, if you still don't like it, drop right before initiation. One of my best friends got her least favorite house as a freshman, dropped and rushed again as a sophomore and got her favorite house. Of course if you do recruitment again, you will be dropped by the house you dropped but you still can potentially be in another sorority.

By: -
#3  by: Real   
#3    

Don't get caught up in the name of the house. Seek out similar girls in your pledge class because all houses have every type of girl and try t bond with them. You will most likely end up happy.

By: Real
#4  by: Hello    
#4    

It's way too soon to know! People get the house they think they want and end up disappointed. Get involved and give it your best try. If you still just can't join I agree to try your best until right before initiation.

By: Hello
#5  by: Onefrog   
#5    

Give them time and a honest chance. If you can't do it then you can try again as a sophomore but who knows that it would go any better. Stay with who wanted you.

By: Onefrog
#6  by: ; )   
#6    

First be grateful a house offered you a bid. The girls in houses aren't looking for a home. Second it is way too soon to know if you can learn to like your house. Be open minded and friendly and will probably meet some great girls that you will bond with. That's why initiation doesn't happen immediately.

By: ; )
#7  by: Bigger Picture   
#7    

There are always girls to connect with in EVERY house. You can find your friends and your home in your new house even though it wasn't the house you wanted.The house YOU truly wanted may not have wanted you back so just because you wanted it doesn't mean that it was the correct fit for you. One thing about being in a house that is maybe not quite as sought after may mean that you are in a better position to lead and grow personally into who you were really meant to be. Instead of looking at how much you didn't want what you got dive in to serving on campus and pledge class activities. Seek others out, seek out involvement which will lead to leadership opportunities that you might not have had at another house. This will develop you into a better all around person by the time you leave school. Sometimes it can be hard to look ranks in the face but there are amazing individual people in every chapter. Think how much you could love on the next group that struggles just like you are right now. What can you do to help them in the future. If you absolutely can't get over it you need to dive into everything- campus activities and a 4.0 this semester and next semester. Prove yourself as an amazing friend to others over the next year. Remember even your friends that will be soph's next year CANNOT get you into the house just because they are your friend unless you are a catch. Top grades, a good reputation, leadership on campus, amazing recs, and connections can help.

By: Bigger Picture
by: TonieAug 24, 2017 7:07:27 PM

This is the perfect attitude ;-)

By: Tonie
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by: GuestMay 18, 2018 6:41:37 PM

Great post. Everyone needs to read this

By: Guest
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#8  by: alsowondering   
#8    

I think I pledged the wrong house. They are considered a top house but too much into frat parties and looks plus all that Texas wealth and I'm from Nebraska. I feel very out of place. Would I be able to drop out and join another- like the less popular house that would have been better for me? Would I be able to participate in Spring Rush? Really regretting my decision.... I wish I had chosen AOII! They seemed very down to earth!

By: alsowondering
by: no names pleaseAug 22, 2017 6:01:33 PM

Please read more of the above posts and give your new home a more timely chance. NPC initiates are all panhellenic 'sisters' and are friendly toward one another during their lifetimes. Perhaps you've heard the expression: "No matter the letters, we're greek together!" well it's true. I'll bet the grass at your new home is just as green as the grass at the house you wish had offered a bid.

By: no names please
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by: Truth Aug 24, 2017 1:05:50 PM

You are bound to this house for 1 year, whether you initiate or not. That means if you drop before initiation, your next chance is Fall 2018 formal rush.

The actives in your chapter saw something in you that made you perfect for their sisterhood. Embrace that. You may have to put forth extra effort to make friends in your pledge class but don't quit before you've exhausted every effort- attend every sorority event you can (mandatory and optional), make lunch & coffee dates with your pledge sisters (start with the ones in your dorm since you'll be seeing them constantly), wear your letters with pride and sit with sisters in class. Study together. Just ask what girls' weekend plans are.....keep putting yourself out there and I bet you'll make some good connections before initiation.

Life in the sorority is different than rush. Once school starts, the actives aren't fawning all over the new members and new members realize they are part of a larger chapter vs being the center of attention. Lots of new members in every chapter feel unsure of their bid. It's normal and tends to work itself out.

By: Truth
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#9  by: Take some time   
#9    

When I went through recruitment, I ended up in my 2nd choice house and I thought I would never be as happy as if I had received a bid to my first choice. It took a few weeks for me to meet and really get to know the girls in my pledge class and those girls are now my best friends. Also, realize if you drop out you will have to wait until next year before you can rush again since you signed your bid card.

By: Take some time
#10  by: Joy   
#10    

Please give the girls in your pledge class a chance. You can make a home if you put your heart into it.

By: Joy

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