sad about rush
by: not sureI can't get over the fact that I feel like I was a better fit in a different sorority. I haven't said anything to anyone accept my mom. I didn't tell my Rho Gamma or anybody how I felt. I pretended to be super happy. But I preffed three houses. I got my second choice. I adored my first choice. I wish I had suicided them. I'm trying to act positive. But I'm not feeling it at all. Any advice?
#1by: -
find out when your initiation is and at least stay in it until then and give it a shot. The majority of girls don't get their first choice and so many girls would fit in better in other sororities but they still adore their chapters! You should give it a chance! That chapter chose you for a reason, would you really want to be in a house that didn't recognize how amazing you are during recruitment? Side note: if you really think you are going to drop, don't go through the process of getting a big bc thats a cruel thing to do to someone.
Commentby: true
by: Try
No, that's not how it works - if you had suicided your top house you would not have gotten a bid at all. You were not high enough on your top house's bid list to receive a bid from them before they reached quota so that would have been it for you if they were your only choice. But you then did match with your second choice house because you were high enough on their bid list before they reached quota. They wanted you! They still want you! How can you take an active role when it doesn't feel right, you ask? Make an effort, a real true effort, instead of just limping along like poor little you. Throw yourself in! 1) Spend some time with each and every single girl in your new member class. Reach out to them, don't wait for it to just happen. You will connect with someone. 2) Go to every single thing your sorority does, volunteer to help out extra in things that will help you meet more sisters, and work side by side with them. You need some share experiences with people and not just chit chat to forge friendships. 3) Put a smile on your face even when someone isn't looking. It will help your brain to be more positive, I promise. There are girls who got dropped who would love to have your house, so be a little more grateful and TRY.
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by: ok
I'm not OP. And I'm actually in a great sorority that I LOVE. But I think it is possible that had she suicided her top sorority, she may have gotten them. Panhellenic does allow "quota plus."
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by: ^
No, that is incorrect. Quota Plus is only for girls who ranked all their preffed houses. Suicides are cut out of Quota Plus. You can't game the system by suiciding.
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by: @^
by: ^
Yes, I am sure. You release yourself from Quota Plus with a SIP - Single Intentional Preference (suicide) and are rewarded by ranking all your pref houses - maximizing your options - by being a Quota Plus addition if you didn't match based on your pref ranks. Houses still under quota even after Quota Plus can Snap Bid though and who they want to snap is up to them. So if OP had suicided she would not have been eligible as a quota plus addition, and wouldn't have been snapped either by her number one because they obviously reached quota before OP got on their bid list.
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by: Wrong!
If you suicide, you are not eligible for a quota addition. Game over. This ungrateful girl was not high enough on her dream sorority's list to get a bid. Nothing would have changed that. If she'd suicided, then she would have ended up with no bid at all.
Original poster, the bitter truth is your favorite house did not think you were a good enough fit for them. Quitting your current sorority will not get you better results if you decide to rerush as a sophomore. Your results will almost certainly be worse. You received your second choice. EMBRACE THE ONES WHO ACTUALLY WANTED YOU!!!!!!!
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#6by: @
#7by: me too
I pledged my first choice house a few years ago and was ecstatic. Soon, I was disappointed because it seemed most in my pledge class had one set of values and I had another. I stuck with it and will not say it is great but it is better. I have found others with similar priorities. I have stayed busy with a couple projects I believe in and tried to make a positive impact.
It is not the sorority life I pictured but it is my sorority life. I am a member of a strong national house and I am proud about that fact. I will graduate with a couple good friends from my house and a couple good friends from other houses/classes. I count that all as a success.
by: 😀
by: Frog
#8by: truth
Most people go into recruitment with a wrong idea of sororities. They think they're going to "find" their best friends but the truth is that you have to "make" your best friends and that takes a lot of effort. If you look at what "Try" has to say it's some good ideas of how to make friends in your house. Right now you are feeling a common feeling. Rest assured that even girls who get their top choice feel this way too. It's maybe even worse to get what you wanted and find out it's a little disappointing. My hope is that you will realize that by not suiciding you were able to find a good sorority which is excited to have you in their chapter. I hope you will believe the truth that a suicide would have left you without a house. The rules are set up to encourage girls to look at all the houses not decide on one and suicide to get it. What if everyone decided on the same house?? Call Panhellenic and ask if you don't believe me.
After you realize that your top favorite is not and never will be a possiblity, you need to straighten out your attitude. If you've been moping around that's one reason why you haven't made good friends. So straighten up and throw yourself in to everything. You make friends by working on projects together or hanging out together. People here are friendly and will meet you halfway. But you may (will) have to make the first move.
by: Answer
by: hmm
I'm not the original poster, but I'm in a similar situation in that I got my third choice sorority. I still want to hide every time I see the women from the other two sororities. I feel like they know I wanted them so badly and they didn't want me. I'm sucking it up, and making the best of it, but I do feel sad sometimes.
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by: @hmmm
The members of those sororities have no way of knowing how you ranked them. As far as they know, you got you number one house. So please don't think anyone is judging you or be embarrassed.
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by: other girls
For all you know they got their third choices too and started out with other houses as favorites. That's just what happens. Obviously they're happy now and you should start moving in that direction. Recruitment is over and now the fun begins!
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by: Purple Heart
by: Sassy
by: Lol
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by: yes but
I know you are trying to help. And that is what my mom said. But how can I take an active role when it doesn't feel right? I feel like i"m stuck in a marriage with someone I don't love.
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