should i disaffiliate?

I'm really sorry that this is your experience! :( A few considerations:

1. Is there a group of girls in the house you think could become closer friends? If so, push yourself out of your comfort zone a little. Ask them (together or alone) for coffee. Ask if you can meet up before the next event/party. I know it feels a little awkward, but you might be surprise at how welcoming people can be----they most likely don't realize you are feeling lonely since you're outgoing and social with everyone! Find a few others that live out of house who you could meet up with beforehand and go in together/eat with, etc. (I lived in my house as a junior but this year live out with a group of non-Greek women...so sometimes do that an it makes it less overwhelming!)

2. Do you have class with anyone? Sit with them in class and chat! Get together for study sessions, etc. Grab lunch after class.

3. Your Exec and/or chapter advisor are open ears. I guarantee you could go talk to them about what you're feeling and you WILL NOT be judged. I bet you'd be surprised how many things like this go on behind the scenes that you don't know of (I'm on exec). The last thing anyone wants is for an amazing member to drop because they feel out of the loop. They'll help you "plug in" ....maybe you can lead a committee or take on a bigger role. Just by being more active and having interactions with other sisters in an "official" capacity, you'll find more friendships!

4. So, I'd try all those above suggestions if you feel in your heart you CAN form real friendships in your house---just for whatever reason, it hasn't happened yet. If, however, you feel your house just isn't the right fit...that no matter what, you don't think you can get there with friendships--I think it's worth a real look inside yourself. I hope you have a solid group of friends out of the chapter? If it really doesn't make sense for you to keep paying money because you feel so disconnected, then maybe disaffiliation is the right step. Sometimes it is---and again, it happens WAY more than you realize for so many reasons! If you choose to do that, please don't be embarrassed to see the women around campus! But based on what you shared above, i don't think this is the route you are headed in.....