apes goes 0/4 on downtowns

Back2School - Freshmen slop, majorly undersold. Not a single upperclassman in sight besides the predatory apes and theos seniors.

Winston - Cancelled (nothing of value was lost here) and also undersold.

Watts - Sold so little that they had to discount tickets. Literally have never seen this happen before.

Noto - Fourth time is the charm, right guys? Even though it's currently undersold by 100 tickets compared to last year.

Great job. I bet you felt like real hot stuff sweating and putting daddy's card down early this summer (while everyone else was working an actual internship) to get the venue slots. Turns out you can't buy your way into social pull or clout. AH and the gang are devastated, but secretly happy OFSL decided to go full ape (lol) this year on nso since now they have a plausible excuse for when actual frats never want to work with them again.