SPECIAL REPORT: FRAT PERFORMANCE THUS FAR

HELLO EVERYONE! THIS IS FREDRICK RAT WITH A SPECIAL REPORT ON WHICH GREEKS ARE ACTUALLY FUN THUS FAR (SPOILER: NOT MANY!) THERE WILL BE SURPRISES AND SCANDAL SO READ UNTIL THE END, AND FEEL FREE TO LEAVE YOUR 100% UNBIASED HATE COMMENTS BELOW!

FIRST UP LETS START WITH THE GOOD - IM HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE THAT SOME FRATS ARE DOING EXCEPTIONALLY WELL THUS FAR. ACCORDING TO EXCLUSIVE REPORTING, THEOS AND HALL HAVE DEFINITELY MAINTAINED THEIR STATUS, WITH HALL POTENTIALLY EVEN ON AN UPSWING IN PARTY QUALITY. AT THIS RATE THEY WILL JOIN OWLS, THE OTHER CONTENDER IN THIS PARTY TIER, IN ATTRACTING A FANTASTIC PC!

YOU MIGHT NOTICE A SURPRISING FACE HERE - SIG CHI! YES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THEY'VE BEEN DOING SURPRISINGLY WELL. THE QUESTION IS - CAN THEY KEEP THIS MOMENTUM FOR THE REST OF THE SEMESTER? OR DID THEY BLOW THEIR ENTIRE RUSH BUDGET ON ONE DOWNTOWN? I THINK YOU KNOW THE ANSWER, BUT FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE EVERYTHING SO WHO KNOWS!?

SUMMARY FOR GOOD PARTIES TIER:
- THEOS
- HALL
- OWLS
- SIG CHI (CONDITIONAL)

NOW LETS MOVE TO THE SO-SO EVENTS TIER, OR WHAT THE KIDS THESE DAYS CALL "MID"! FRATS HERE PROBABLY WONT MOVE UP OR DOWN IF THEY KEEP THIS PACE BUT WHO KNOWS?

FIRST UP IS DELT. NOT A BAD PERFORMANCE BY ANY MEANS BUT JUST GENERALLY UNREMARKABLE EVENTS SO FAR! PLEASE FIND A GIMMICK FOR ONE OF YOUR EVENTS BESIDES PONG!

NEXT UP IS SAE! DEFINITELY SOME FUN EVENTS BUT NOT ENOUGH TO SQUEEK INTO THE TOP TIER. COULD DEFINITELY DO IT WITH SOME MORE EVENTS THOUGH! ONE TO WATCH.

THEN WE HAVE THE PROBATION KINGS - ZBT. SO FAR, THEYVE GOT RELATIVELY SMALL EVENTS BUT HIGH ENERGY TO MAKE UP FOR IT! STILL NOT ENOUGH TO MOVE UP A TIER, BUT WE'LL SEE! LETS HOPE THE CHARGES THAT WILL PRESUMABLY ARISE DON'T STICK THIS YEAR!

NOW WE'VE GOT FIJI, WITH A "DRY" CHAPTER HOUSE WETTER THAN A JOKE I WILL NOT MAKE (THANK YOU GSWS 133)! DECENT EVENTS HERE BUT ID LIKE TO SEE THEM STEP IT UP A NOTCH.

FINALLY WE'VE GOT SAMMYS, AEPI, AND BETA, WHICH I WILL GROUP TOGETHER BECAUSE I AM LAZY AND BECAUSE OF HOW UNREMARKABLE THEIR PERFORMANCE HAS BEEN! THEY MAKE THIS TIER, BUT ONLY BECAUSE THEY'VE ACTUALLY THROWN! BETTER THAN NOTHING I SUPPOSE.

SUMMARY FOR DOING OK:
- DELT
- SAE
- ZBT
- FIJI
---- BREAK ----
- SAMMYS
- AEPI
- BETA

NOW WE'RE ON TO THE DISAPPOINTING TIER. LET ME TELL YOU, LOTS OF PLACES HERE WERE WAY MORE FUN BEFORE!

FIRST UP WE'VE GOT CASTLE! SOME FREE ADVICE ON PARTIES FROM A PROFESSIONAL MCKENZIE PARTY CONSULTANT: YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO THROW THEM! I GOT THIS JOB THROUGH NEPOTISM BUT EVEN I KNOW THAT THIS SHOULD BE OBVIOUS! EVERYBODY IS THINKING IT, AND THIS GOES FOR YOU TOO ZETE!

PHI HAS DONE SLIGHTLY BETTER IN THAT THEY'VE BEEN THROWING. BUT THAT'S NOT WORTH MUCH WHEN EVERY EVENT SUCKS! HATE TO BE THE BEARER OF BAD NEWS BUT THAT'S JUST HOW IT IS.

FINALLY WE HAVE APES, AND FELLAS I'LL LET YOU IN ON A SECRET - YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO LET LITERAL PRIMATES PLAN YOUR EVENT! THAT FOAM "PARTY" WAS MID, PLEASE DO BETTER! OZ DIED FOR THIS!

SUMMARY FOR DOING BAD:
- CASTLE
- ZETE
- APES
- PHI

IN SUMMARY: WILL THE TOP TIER FRATS TURN IT AROUND IN TIME FOR RUSH? OR WILL TIER THREE FRATS MOVE UP DUE TO THEIR INCOMPETENCE? HOW MUCH MONEY IS LEFT IN THE APES AND SIG CHI RUSH BUDGETS AND WHY IS IT ZERO? DID YOU GET INTO THAT CONSULTING CLUB YOU PRETENDED TO CARE ABOUT? FIND OUT ON THE NEXT FREDRICK RAT EXCLUSIVE!