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pnm advice: the importance of personal connections

by:    

I see a lot of PNMs (Potential New Members) focusing on "tangible" items like recs, grades, outfits, and community service.

Those are important, but let me be the first to tell you that these are STANDARD items. That's the "foot in the door" stuff that EVERY PNM at a reasonably competitive school WILL have. You've got a rec or two, a 3.95, and were involved in 2 sports. Guess what? At most schools, that's EVERY girl in your group.

BUT, DO NOT FORGET: PERSONAL CONNECTIONS/RELATIONSHIPS.

Everybody has the standard stuff, but it really IS "who you know" that is a HUGE factor.

Chapter members tend to know who from HS, camp, cheer, etc. is going through and if these are women they know and like, they'll be the first to say "OMG. I went to HS with Becky! She'd be great."

Those are the women who stand out and when there are limited spots to go around, come to member's minds first.

A lot of PNMs come into recruitment knowing no one, from another state, etc. They tend to be at a disadvantage not because they're undesirable, it's just that invites are limited and there is little room for chapters to invite PNMs back whom they JUST met on day 1 of recruitment.

Posted By: Personal Connections
Page 1 of 1
#1by:    
#1    

Let's look at personal connections from a numbers standpoint:

For example, let's say that ABC chapter has 100 members. Each of them personally knows 2 PNMs from church/camp/high school/etc whom they think would make great ABCs.

100 x 2 = 200 women whom members can already vouch for before they even set foot in the chapter doors on day 1.

Fast forward to after day 1. ABC has 300 invites for day 2.

Out of that 300, there are these 200 girls with personal connections whom members already know of and want.

Assuming that all 200 of those are issued an invite, that leaves just 100 spots for the "unknown wildcard" PNMs whom no one has heard of prior to recruitment.

My point is that personal connections are very important.

Can you get a bid if you know no one? Absolutely. Every chapter is different and there are some who have more room for the "wildcards" based on a lot of factors than others. But in dealing with those chapters who are releasing high numbers of women early on in the process, those with the connections are generally in a better position.

By: To extend this thread.
#2by:    
#2    

So often, we hear "I don't know how I only got 3 chapters back out of a possible 8. I wore new clothes every day, fed the homeless every week in HS, and have a 5.0 in all AP classes."

When it came down to it, it's not that you weren't great on paper, or weren't cute enough, or that you have a horrible personality. It's because they met you first the first time EVER for 30 minutes during first party. You don't know anyone, and there was not enough time for anyone to even try to get to know you. When a chapter is pressed for time and has a finite number of invites, they are naturally going to be predisposed toward the women you've already met in other contexts.

Think of it this way: Blind date vs. guy you already know from class, know what he's involved in, his personality etc.

By: Don't give up!
#3by:    
#3    

Sorry, PHC recruitment at the U isn't as competitive as you are describing. It's not all about who you know. It's a factor, but most sororities will have more of a reason for dropping someone than the fact that no one knows them. Every chapter has it's own individual recruitment process and value different things in a new member. Plenty of women that are from out of state, or don't know anyone go through recruitment and do just fine. This may be how it works at competitive schools that have 1,000+ women going through rush, but it's just not that way at the U. Stop scaring PNMs.

By: um no
#4by:    
#4    

If you are a girl at the U you will get a bid from a house as long as you attend all the events and aren't extremely socially awkward

By: Lol

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#5by:    
#5    

I didn't know anyone in the houses, and I was invited back to the maximum number of houses every day of recruitment. Who you are as a person is far more important than who you know.

By: sororityStar
by: sororityStar   

Oh my gosh, this is NOT to say that if you aren't invited back that there's anything wrong with you!!! Some of it is the luck of who you talk to as well! Just be friendly! :)

By: sororityStar
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