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Dropped before meeting anyone?

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Looking for clarity? My daughter was dropped on day 1 of Rush before even meeting anyone from all her top picks. Eventhough she has high grades,"it-girl" factor in Georgia's third best high-school in the state, Varsity and MVP awards and many established connections with requests to pursue their sorority. I however have no experience in the Greek Life world and so I am wondering if we did something wrong on the front end of the application. ANY ideas or insight would mean so much. Also would really appreciate some words of wisdom on how to keep my daughter from wanting to leave all together in light of not making her desired houses.

Posted By: Confused
Page 2 of 2
#11by:    
#11    

As someone with generations of Memphis family. I attended a well known private school considered best in Tn before moving so I had connections. Then moving to Atlanta attended what was at the time the best public high school in the state. Went through Rush at UGA. Please it was connections at UGA just like Ole Miss. I was lucky as my high school was a major feeder school and had gone to camp with many girls that turned out to be in a sorority. Again even back then so many girls like me were double legacy status and it gave preference. Not all the sororities could take all the legacy girls. Keep in mind now Legacy girls is only a consideration. It is much kinder to cut them early if they are not a fit so they can find a house. Back in the day they may have kept you right before Pref and then cut you if you were a legacy or had a recommendation from a well known alum. I had to transfer to Ole Miss to take care of sick relative affiliated with my sorority. I got to see life on the other side of recruitment at both schools not much different. SEC Greek Schools in stronger houses pick pledges with strong ties to the school and community based on their families. Just like business connections matter. People use well it is a legacy sorority to justify why their little princess was cut-but most girls getting into SEC schools today have high grades, activities, sports, volunteer, and work experience. That is not enough to be a an IT GIRL. No one is going to look up your child's high school to see ranking unless their other girl's in the house she wants pulling from her. I would tell out of state Mom's to find a camp in Ms. if they are sending their children out of state so they can build connections. Having been inside a house during rush I can say you try to talk when allowed per the rules to talk to many girls in the spring. But it is a kindness to cut early if they do not have the pull in the house to get a bid in a competitive year. Either way she will have a great time at Ole Miss. One of my best friends came down from the Midwest to attend with me and it took her until Junior year to get in a sorority. She still had a great time before she got in a house and got involved in clubs etc. She met more people and got her grades up as she had a learning disability-at that time it did count against her sadly. My other good friend from the West came got in a sorority her 1st year. Many Ga girl's many out of state girls at Ole Miss. All have a great time. Keep an open mind on houses. Many girl's went PHI Mu from Ga. and now many ADPI. Both sororities founded in Ga. Many fun activities outside of sorority life at Ole Miss and she can network. Keep an open mind and it is sad people focus on rank not on the right fit. You can tell your child I was in what is a top sorority both at UGA and Ole Miss but even if I had been in a bottom sorority they all do the same things have lunch and dinner, socialize, make life long friendships,.

By: Ga Girls
by: Ga girls    

Should add I did not chose either one of my double legacy houses although they were in top range at UGA. One is top at Ole Miss and one at bottom. I picked the house I liked best and turned out to to be top tier both places. Just dumb luck. Nationals got rid of legacy status so you really do not have this is an excuse if your daughter does not make the cut. I think the National sororities beyond diversity were tired of hearing from alums angry their great- grand got cut as they considered her an IT girl no doubt. But the number of legacies were really getting so large. The focus is about building connections. These are social not educational. It is odd to me no one assumes MS has their own girls in the state and being out of state is better-but yet they chose Ole Miss out of state. Every state has great girls. Either way your child will have fun just enjoy the house she gets and focus on having fun. If she is an IT girl she will bring fun in the house wanting her and build great memories.

By: Ga girls
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#12by:    
#12    

Before you judge about how this is unfair- Again it is harder to say know to a neighbor's child from your home or girl you will see again or their parents will see your parents or grandparents. Easier to reject someone with family members you or your family will not see again. That may not in the future come back to make donations to the large houses etc. I have just given the same input to my Goddaughter going through rush at a large state school in Florida. She did not go to the other large state school in FL where her Mother went. So I told her she will not be an in house legacy and legacy status is only a consideration. Told her to keep an open mind she went for college ranking over connections. She is going in state but from a small high school not a major feeder. I prepared her even with recommendations and legacy status she may not get one of the top 5 houses on the campus to even invite her back for round 2. In order to get into large FL schools now of course she had well over a 4.0GPA. So far she only had 5 houses look at her resume through panhellenic. She was Captain of two sports teams in high school, everyone in Fl volunteers in order to get instate scholarship, she is skinny blond very Barbie-but her IT style is not what every house will want. She will struggle as she does not have connections to the actual school through her family and knows nobody a year ahead in a House already at the FL school. Houses want diversity they want people from different places, looks, etc. SEC recruitment is hard keep an open mind is something we should tell all women going through recruitment. Again I am not saying trust the process it clearly needs reforms as the focus is to keep every house full by the new computer but keep an open mind.

By: Ga Girls
#13by:    
#13    

Check to be certain her GPA was recorded correctly by Panhellenic. They distribute official stats to houses. I know someone who was cut in the same way because her GPA was incorrect with Panhellenic.

By: Letters
#14by:    
#14    

I wish this could be pinned, this is really really insightful:
'As someone with generations of Memphis family. I attended a well known private school considered best in Tn before moving so I had connections. Then moving to Atlanta attended what was at the time the best public high school in the state. Went through Rush at UGA. Please it was connections at UGA just like Ole Miss. I was lucky as my high school was a major feeder school and had gone to camp with many girls that turned out to be in a sorority.

What isn't enough
Your childs out of state school ranking
That is not enough to be a an IT GIRL. No one is going to look up your child's high school to see ranking unless their other girl's in the house she wants pulling from her.

REALLY REALLY GREAT ADVICE and unfortunately for many needs to be cultivated in grade school and junior high:
I would tell out of state Mom's to find a camp in Ms. if they are sending their children out of state so they can build connections. LOOK UP CAMP DESOTO in Alabama.

THIS ALSO HAPPENS
Having been inside a house during rush I can say you try to talk when allowed per the rules to talk to many girls in the spring.

MANY MANY girls are invited to recruiting events in their senior year. Ole Miss has many events in the fall and the spring. This is how you get to know a lot of members in a house.

With all of that said, ignore the chatter and what other people tell you to think. All of the chapters are excellent. I was OOS had no concept of OM rush and landed in a house that is no longer at Ole Miss and ... I am/was happy, still have many many life long friends from that "lower tier house". None of us went to sleep at night feeling sorry for ourselves. 85% of us are normal well adjusted grown ass women (the other 15%...we still had some nut cases, as does every house)

By: bla bla
#15by:    
#15    

So with Bid Day over and done with, do the OP and her daughter have clarity now?

By: Waiting...

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by: curious   

Curious about the same thing

By: curious
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by: Yep   

Probably dropped bc she thought she was too good for the other houses

By: Yep
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#16by:    
#16    

Did she have recs? Those really matter at big schools.

By: APhi for Life
by: Ga Girl again    

I know Alpha Phi is newer to the SE. Glad they are here but truly recommendations only help so much. Maybe get you from round 1 to 2. But truth my Goddaughter at a large Florida state school the other one her mom did not attend had multiple recommendations to every high tier and mid-tier. Again, an IT girl as the original poster stated. For the first in person round 2 she was cut from all top tier and invited back to all mid-tier and lower tier houses. With the exception of her legacy sorority. Again, her mother had gone to the other state school and after recruitment used the excuse her video had not been turned in to them. Clearly the other mid tiers got it. Sounds odd(in other words do not blame the recruitment chair or the alum working on site with the chapter on one thought to find the video for the legacy-although other houses got it). The recruitment chair from her Mother's schools had called the other state school recruitment chair to see what happened. Given both recruitment chairs had met with her. Anyway, she did end up in a strong mid-tier although clearly not her mothers. Wonder if that sorority will be getting donations from the mother in the future? Maybe SEC schools should come up with better excuses over computer glitch or human error. If you are wondering my own sorority did not invite her to round 2. So, she never got to meet them in person either before being cut. The two sororities she had grown up knowing about she never met in person under the new system. System needs reform.

By: Ga Girl again
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by: Ga Girl again    

The mother is happy her child ended up in a sorority "higher ranked" then her own sorority at FL school. She will not be donating any money to her own school sorority to help them build a new house. As she says she is feeling petty about her daughter not getting even an invite to round 2 at the other state school. She did not buy they lost the video and no one noticed for the legacy excuse. Although I am sure it is possible but part of why the system needs reform. My recommendations are clearly ignored as well. But please get recommendations as some houses will not give you a bid without one and some will be lazy and not get one for you. Glad I only had sons.

By: Ga Girl again
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by: To GA GIRL    

Fl schools don’t rely on connections or legacy status nearly as much as Ole Miss does. Connections CAN help but can also hurt you. The chapters really work on due diligence prior to rush but many girls can fall through the cracks. Social media and video are very important.

By: To GA GIRL
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#17by:    
#17    

Yes, Fl may rely more on social media vs connections. Still most women this century have full blown social media accounts from middle school on so the real issue is you need to know people and coming from a big feeder school helps.

By: Ga Girl again

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