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Dropped before meeting anyone?

by:    

Looking for clarity? My daughter was dropped on day 1 of Rush before even meeting anyone from all her top picks. Eventhough she has high grades,"it-girl" factor in Georgia's third best high-school in the state, Varsity and MVP awards and many established connections with requests to pursue their sorority. I however have no experience in the Greek Life world and so I am wondering if we did something wrong on the front end of the application. ANY ideas or insight would mean so much. Also would really appreciate some words of wisdom on how to keep my daughter from wanting to leave all together in light of not making her desired houses.

Posted By: Confused
Page 1 of 2
#1by:    
#1    

1- she ain’t from here
2- if she doesn’t have house legacy status it can hurt
3- she has to have someone in a house to speak for her
4- did she have recs from Ole Miss?

Bama has nothing on Ole Miss competition for houses. But the good news is… she is more likely to find a good house and make lifelong friends

By: Various
#2by:    
#2    

If she got dropped from every house you should contact Panhellenic

By: Various
by: No   

No. She said top picks.

By: No
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by: Sip   

What can they do if they are dropped from every house?

By: Sip
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#3by:    
#3    

How did SHE have top picks without meeting anyone?

By: hummmm
by: confused   

Diff. sororities were recommended to her by a family member who graduated 2021ish.

By: confused
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by: Yep   

This part. She wasn’t dropped from every house she was apparently dropped from “her top houses”

With an attitude like that I bet I can guess

By: Yep
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#4by:    
#4    

Yes, your responses are correct in that she didn't get her top picks. I thought she would at least get a chance with the girls . But I understand there is no way each house can meet everyone. And it is an uphill battle as an out os stater and no legacy status. She does know a lot of Ole Miss girls well and had so many of them tell her not to worry about Rush that she was kind of blindsided by being dropped on day 1. The number of girls rushing this year is 2300 and because of new chapters the houses were allocated less spots this year despite the huge increase in admissions.

By: confused

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by: Well    

Did she have recs?

By: Well
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by: oos   

well- let her know a lot of different houses were upset when they heard how many their chapter had to cut... really top girls who had it all going on...in house members were upset too as they want to meet your daughters but the numbers game that Panhellenic sets takes some of the decisions out of their control.

By: oos
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#5by:    
#5    

She was dropped from her top picks before she actually met anybody.

That means that her top picks were not based on anything other than somebody else's opinion. You don't want her going to a house that somebody ELSE tells her is right. Just like you don't want her jumping off a bridge because somebody else told her to do it.

Since you said she was dropped from her alleged "top picks," that means she has houses left. This is when you as mom assure her she can find her home. But only if she goes in with an open mind, looking at how SHE feels when she is at a house. She is in college now. It's the time to form her own opinions, not follow somebody else's. Unless she's looking to be upset and disappointed. Then keep following what the others say.

By: Reality
by: Truth   

But you are speaking out both sides of your both. Stating she has been cut by her top picks even though she would not know her top picks without meeting girls first, sororities are doing the same.
They have a quota this year and unfortunately being from out of state that essentially a ding against her, although it’s unfortunate, it’s a fact. All Sororities can be a little more pickier this year due to quota and number of girls. As long as she keeps an open mind she will succeed, if she does not it might not be a positive experience. I wish her the best!

By: Truth
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#6by:    
#6    

Welcome to the deep south.

If she was dropped this early, she isn't a legacy. End of story.

All your posts about my daughter being such and such is useless here and was useless for rush. No one even looked at her application. If she isn't legacy, she is cut. End of story.

The good news is she wasn't cut for being bad.

Many top houses have top level girls, they also have bottom level girls. What both level girls are legacies though.

By: Hi
by: Hi   

You sound like one of those ADPi or APhi that thinks that your daughter ended up there because of some secret southern club when it was most likely her grades or her personality.

By: Hi
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#7by:    
#7    

Yes she did have many rec.s but she is not a local or legacy and tough year with too many applicants. I was just in shock this morning and looking to understand the process. I am so grateful for everyone's input.

By: Confused
by: tough   

it is tough for people coming in from out of state but EVERY sorority is good at Ole Miss and she should give them a chance. She will find her place.

By: tough
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#8by:    
#8    

If your daughter isn’t a legacy and she was concentrating on a house known for being a legacy house she would not have had the same experience as those legacy girls. They have their moms at special functions. The legacies get to initiate first and wear special pins etc if the majority of the house is legacy then the others don’t feel as included-in their own sisterhood. The flip side is if a girl is awkward or unattractive and a legacy she gets to hear “we had to take her because she’s a legacy” when petty immature first year students are taking to frats.

Your daughter doesn’t realize it now but they blessed her with that cut. They did it early probably because she does have connections and they didn’t want to lead her on and then eventually cut her for a legacy. She will find a house that appreciates HER success not what hoo-ha she came out of.

By: Blessed
#9by:    
#9    

Each sorority gets the list of PNM and rank the girls. By the time they list the legacies that their advisors say they have to take and their hometown besties…. Many “top” houses have already reached their first cut point. When you consider Memphis and MS largest schools…you easily reach 400 girls. Unfortunately this leaves very few spots for girls with no in house connection.

Having girls who graduated within the past 5 years is wonderful but only the girls in the house are voting.

By: Well
by: Uh   

First you said the alums were choosing then you said the girls in the house were voting?

The truth is most chapters hold legacies until 2nd round as a courtesy and they can’t take all the legacies so they might concentrate on the more regional ones that tend to support the chapter for years because they come back for games and send their daughters here.

People like to use the legacy thing to explain why they didn’t get a bid and maybe that’s the case or maybe you didn’t make a strong enough impression that a girl was willing to get you the votes. Maybe your grades aren’t the highest or your resume wasn’t as strong or the rec you got seemed like it was just to check a box and not an actual friend. And if you’re the type that stays bitter about it for years it was probably your personality.

By: Uh
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by: Lol   

You are naive if you don’t realize advisors influence the cut list! Every house has alumni working rush

By: Lol
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#10by:    
#10    

This should make sense to you.

Suzie Sorority Wannabe from Mississippi coast comes to your daughter's OOS school where she and her friends know a gazillion girls. They're forming a group. They can each select one or two they want. Lots of the girls they already know are smart...pretty...personable...with accolades galore.

Now, there's nothing wrong with Suzie Sorority. In fact, she is all those things too...smart...pretty...accomplished. It's just that don't know her. At all. They're going to go with who they know.

These chapters at Ole Miss have 350+ members. Imagine if only HALF of them have ONE girl they are rushing hard. That's 175 right there. And that doesn't even take into consideration legacies.

It's connections and math. Simple as that. The occasional OOS PNM gets into a 'highly desired' sorority with connections, legacy status or both. Without either of those things, it's near impossible.

By: Reverse it
by: ^   

So you wouldn't go to your sorority sister's wedding because it was in a place you consider not worthy of your presence? We get that, can't impress people on your ig with it so why bother. That what's-in-it-for-me attitude is not exactly sisterly.

And BTW, cotillions are held for middle schoolers. But you'll be just fine.

By: ^
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