personal problems + sorority
by: Please Answer! :(
So last fall I made a decision to rush and I was so excited about making new friends (I live up north and don't know anyone). Rush week went ok until the last day when I got dropped from everything. I was devastated and cried a bit but I decided to move on and pretend it was not a big deal to me. I still felt so left out and lonely and did not have anyone to go to and I thought if I could just be in a sorority I would be happy. Weeks after bid day I was still very upset but then mom passed away and it changed my life completely. Even thought she passed months ago I am still heart broken and I would do anything to have her back :'( . I have been trying to cope by meeting new people but it is so hard when I hardly know anyone. I feel like if I were a part of a sorority I would be a part of a new family with sisters. After I didn't get in a sorority my mom would always tell me to go to church and branch out to girls there but it hasn't worked. I find it so hard to get connected when everyone is part of a sorority and I'm not. My mom told me to try my best again next year, but every post I see on this website says it's near impossible to rush as a sophomore and saying that if they didn't want you then, they won't want you now. I want to make my mom proud, but I don't want to be humiliated again.
Any advice?
Is rushing my sophomore year worth it, or will I get cut?
What is the best way to make new friends in Oxford, regardless of being in a sorority?
Thank you <3
#11by: MS Me
First - I'm so sorry you lost your mom. That's a horrible, life changing thing. You must be really strong to keep going and trying so soon after that, so you've got a lot going for you whether you know it or not.
Second - you should NOT be humiliated - it happens to a lot of girls. Being from out of state, it's really hard to come to Ole Miss and have a good rush unless you have a lot of contacts.
Third - Despite all the Ole Miss mentality, a sorority really doesn't mean much after you graduate unless you're a local and are moving back to your home town with your sisters.
Fourth - It's hard to know how rush will go as a sophomore. It's an uphill battle, but if you've made some friends in some houses and are open minded, it's possible.
This is not real life, so please don't let rush, or even making friends here, bother you. Keep trying, but the rest of your life will have nothing to do with these 4 years. You sound like a nice person. Keep wanting to do the right thing, and you'll find a place.
Comment#12by: #
Amen to the poster who said 'top tier" is not all it's cracked up to be. I'm not from Mississippi and fell victim to the tent talk and managed to get in one of the perceived "top" 4. I'm from OOS and all these girls already knew each other. I'm lonely and feel left out. If I had it to do over, I would have gone with a group that had girls from all over the country. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Hope COB worked out for you or other organizations. Please keep us posted. Good Luck!
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by: a lot of truth
The above poster speaks a lot of truth. The one thing I differ with is that your four years in college can make a big difference in your post-college life in terms of becoming a leader, learning how to work together and make things happen - those are very valuable skills to have for work and the more involved you become here, the better your skills you will be the you start your career. AND that can mean being involved in a lot more things than a sorority.
If you look at a lot of campus leaders (including the current Miss Ole Miss who is not in a sorority) they're involved in everything from student gov't, to organizations related to their major to campus religious groups and more. They're doing volunteer work, both with campus and off-campus groups. They're honing their leadership skills that will set them apart in that first job and help them interview better.
I've known girls who did not pledge - for reasons such as yours - and they found their way at OM as I've described above. There are many paths to a successful college career.
And that said, give it a shot next year if you really want. Just know that your college career doesn't have to defined by wearing Greek letters.
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