personal problems + sorority

I guess try talking to people.....?

Girl I'm so sorry you went through that. But there are so many ways to meet new people aside from being in a sorority. Don't get wrong, most of my friends are my sisters, but Ole Miss has so many clubs and events all the time. It isn't impossible to rush as a sophomore but keep in mind that they are all different. Best of Luck!

I'm so sorry that you're going through that. I lost my mom recently and I think I understand what you're talking about - for me, I want to be closer with people, to be surrounded by more people. Part of that I think is to fill a void, but another part is understanding that a lot of things that I thought mattered, really don't, and what does, is friends and family and relationships.

So, with that in mind, here's my advice. If you are interested in COB, let people know. And if you want to rush again as a sophomore, start working those relationships with people you know on campus now. I will be honest, the odds are really not in your favor, but if you want to try again then you should.

And finally, do more. If going to church wasn't helping you find your group, then look into clubs, volunteering, things like that. What do you like to do? What did you like to do before you came to oxford? It doesn't have to be through church.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. You are mourning your Mom and sometimes it's hard to reach out to people when you are in pain. There really are lots of clubs and activities besides Greek life to get involved in. I purposely find other activities to participate in besides my Sorority. There are several directly linked to my major, that way I can meet people in my field of study.

I know Theta, ADPi, and AOPi all do COB so if you have any friends in those sororities you could talk to them about Spring Recruitment!

Go to BSU or other religious groups on campus. I know that they would welcome you and help you find someone to talk to. I don't know what denomination you are, but there is RUF, campus crusade or non denominational Christian groups all over campus. Contact Panhallenic and tell them your story. Tell them you are interested in COB... There job is to help you find a home.

ASK for help, Please!!! I promise you, Ole Miss can be lonely, but it is also full of people who want to love you and help you thru this time.

Go to your RA in your dorm, reach out and you will find that person who will help get you plugged in.

Above all, remember your mom loves you and is proud of you, and most of all Jesus loves you. Will be praying for you.

Thank you all so much for the kind replies. But another question is if I have already been cut from a sorority, how can I get a COB?

First, sorority classes are based on legacy and where you went to school, it has no merit on your self worth. Truth is, being in a top sorority is actually looked down upon, because essentially saying I've had x many of generations in Mississippi. It's kind of like a thug saying he's had x many of generations in this hood. Getting into some of the greek systems at harvard/yale or having x generations at the Hamptions, sure brag about that. But bragging about being stuck in Mississippi for 50 years? lol.

Second, being in a sorority isn't going to solve your problems, unless you want fake friends. Don't look at the fake smiles and likes on instagram and think girls are happy, it's all fake. A girl with 500 likes, she has 500 likes because she is liking 500 pics herself. Just follow any senior after graduation where they are no longer required to like pics, they delete their instas to save themselves from the embarrassment.

With that said, rush, you have nothing to lose and you will meet other girls. But take it from someone in a top sorority, it's completely overrated

If you were cut from Panhellenic recruitment, you are eligible to go through informal recruitment (aka COB) at the chapters who are hosting it and receive a bid that way

The only way you would be ineligible is if you had gone through formal recruitment and received a bid and then depledged

It is possible you fell through the cracks during formal recruitment and that you would be able to shine more in an more informal setting, but it depends

I'm not trying to get down on you (I'm sure you're wonderful), but I think you should also do a hard self-reflection and figure out where your formal recruitment process went wrong. Things to pay attention to:

1) Should you improve on conversation skills? If so, you should try talking to people more in general...I found that when I was able to strike up a conversation with almost anyone, ex. person sitting next to me on a bus, I felt like my skills had improved a lot.

2) Do you need to work on your grades? Get your gpa as high as you can get it. School is your main priority in college and sororities want members who do well in school.

3) Do you need involvement/extracurriculars/leadership? You will definitely want to be involved in extracurriculars and try to get a leadership position if possible. Look into things you are interested in...there are so many student orgs at Ole Miss. Initiative to get involved on campus is something that sororities are looking for in PNMs.

4) Beyond convos, do you present yourself well? (cont'd below)

I am so sorry for what you went through and I can't even imagine how you must feel.

I think it would definitely be worth it to rush as a sophomore if you're still interested in going Greek next fall!! I hope you find you're home next fall, or if you don't rush, then I hope you find your best friends here!! Best of luck to ya girly