Great HIV Outbreak of 2025

If you’ve been within 10 feet of Pike in the last 3 months, go check yourself immediately, symptoms include itching, burning, rash, and life altering blood conditions. Experts say it all started when “Patient Zero” (names soon) spread more than just good vibes at Thirsty Thursday. All you can do know is pray you weren’t apart of the unlucky Eskimo web. 🕷️
Stay safe out there, Spartans. And for the love of all things holy, stop double-dipping in the queso.