Storytime: Gender swap for greeklife

You are walking down Oxford. You fall, and hit your head, and you get knocked out. You wake back up, and you are on the sidewalk, but something is different. Something feels different. You look around, and you see a bunch of guys in Zeta’s front yard—Zeta Tau Alpha, the biggest fraternity on campus—and they’re all playing pong. As you continue walking down the road, you see a cluster of old-looking fraternities: Alpha Gamma Delta, known for their sweet, and smart party boys, Alpha Chi Omega, the “top” fraternity on campus, Alpha Epsilon Phi, the silly guys who are always so welcoming, and Kappa Kappa Gamma, the wealthy guys known for their clout. All of these fraternities are in massive, beautiful old homes, but they are, well, fraternities. You examine their sticky floors, overgrown yards, and garbage everywhere. Then, you see Delta Upsilon, the most beautiful sorority house on campus. The girls that live there are pretty basic, but they are likeable. They are big partiers too. Everything seems so confusing to you, yet it all makes sense; it is harmony. Then, you walk towards state street, and you see the classic sorority row. Theta Delta Chi, Beta Theta Pi, Alpha Delta Phi, and Sigma Chi. They all have such distinctly beautiful sororities, deemed “the 4 sisters” by everyone on campus, since they all do so much together. Theta Delta Chi is known for their party girls, and affinity for alcohol, and Beta Theta Pi is known for their involvement in Panhel, and their tight-knit sisterhood. Alpha Delta Phi and Sigma Chi both do philanthropy events together, and they are very desirable sororities. It’s so weird to see all those houses looking so beautiful, and filled with sisters. Then, you decide to go to the jug to wash away this reality, but you stumble upon Alpha Delta Pi, also known as Shady Pi (Shady). Shady has a massive fraternity in the best location, and the boys there are mega party animals. Nearby is Tri Delt, the “paragon” of a top tier frat. Their boys are rich. Their parties are good. They love who they are, but they also love others too. However, their house is the biggest dump ever, but they are good guys. Great parties. Then, you decide to venture into the woods, and you see Sigma Nu, a beautiful sorority known for its funny girls who are “memes” a lot. They are sweet, though, and not many people know the truth about them. And to top off all of this confusion, you decide to return back home to Sammy, your own fraternity. However, it’s gone. It got banned. Not only that, but a bunch of girls are living in your own house!!! What?? You ask them about what happened, and they tell you that nothing bad happens in greek life and that president Mark Schlissel loves greek life, and that the greek community at Michigan is so so beautiful. You then trip on the stairs down from Sammy, and you hit your head.
Then, you wake up from your dream, gasping for air.

"What was that. "

"I miss that."