welcome week

Oy vey what’s it take to get a good new yawkk bagel here, the shmear is so much better in MANHATTAN. Did I mention I’m from new yawkk? I mean if my Knicks jersey and Mets hat and overall repulsive disposition didn’t give it away. you like cocaine? tbh i don’t know how you in-state peasants even deal with this stepped on Michigan sniff, my high school in Jersey had raw fish scale everywhere. You ever been to the Hamptons? well no, we don’t technically own a place there, but my parents rent this airbnb spot once a yr - peep my ig you’ll see like 30 pics. if ur thirsty i got an open tab at skeeps, order whatever (it’s the only way girls will talk to me). so yea, update on the internship sitch, so no i didn’t get the goldman sachs offer i told everyone for the last 3 years id get. but i did get in with this shop off the turnpike where ill cold call senile old ladies all day trying to sell them annuities. yuh yuh

yes, I know I’m balding, hairy, greasy and look 37 years old but i swear I’m 20. did i mention my dad drives a tesla. u up? pls respond

literally just walk down the street where all the frats are every night from tuesday- sunday and you'll find parties. go with a big
group of girls from ur hall you'll have no issue getting in. the nice thing about welcome week is you can frat hop if your not enjoying ykhself

step 1). look remotely attractive. step 2). you're in.