official guide to what sorority to join

Alpha Phi- Do you have a superiority complex? Is a TKE your ideal boyfriend? Join Alpha Phi
KD- Have you hooked up with more than 3 guys in Fiji? Are you from the tri-state area? Join KD
Theta- Are you a blonde? Do you love Catholic boys with a lot of money? Join Theta
TriDelt- Do you envision your Thursday nights postgaming at Fiji and doing lines off the bathroom sink? Join Tridelt
AOPi- Did you date the same kid throughout high school? Do you consider yourself wife material? Do you know a lot ATOs? Join AOPi
AXO- Are you really nice but frequently blackout at Cornerstone on Wednesday nights? Join AXO
PhiSig- Are you actually 5'2'' but are 5'7'' when you go out at night? Are you a Jap from Long Island? Join PhiSig
AXiD- In high school, were you the "crazy friend" in your friend group? Join AXiD
AEPhi- Is your closet filled with only black clothing? Do you rock a middle-part hair style? Join AEPhi
ZTA- Do you want the highlight of your college career to be a philanthropy event with KA? Join ZTA
DG- Do you frequently "anchor down" in middle tier fraternities? Join DG
DEEPH- Did you play basketball and/or softball in high school? Join DEEPH
SDT- Did you not get a bid to PhiSig or AEPhi? Do you have a last name that ends with -berg, -stein, or -ski? Join SDT
SK- Did you not get a bid in the spring but want to rush again in the fall? Join SigKap
ADPi- Do you not like socializing with guys? Is your GPA sub par? Join ADPi