Frats as alcohol

Alpha Delt: (hot cinnamon brunettes)-not desirable in the slightest
Aepi: (grey goose)- likes to flex but not actually that cool
Alpha Sig: (Michelob Ultra)- off-brand and strange
Ato: (Truly), thinks it’s hard but actually pretty soft
Beta: (everclear)- bottom shelf for a reason
Delta Sig: (Twisted tea) can be good if you’re in the mood but nothing special
KA: (bud light)- always popular, but mediocre
Lambda: (mad dog)- will make your head hurt
Phi Delt: (white claw)- popular choice for basic sorority girls
Phi Tau: (Smirnoff ice)- annoying and never a pleasant surprise
Pike: (a warm natty light)
PSK: (rubbing alcohol)
Sig Chi: (Budweiser)- a classic, but always the same
Sig Nu: (motor oil)
Sig Ep: (four loko) never worth it in the end but sometimes appealing to a select few
Tep: (Long Island ice tea)
Theta chi: (Zelko)- none of them are y’all enough to reach anything on the top shelf
Zbt: (Smirnoff)- kind of just there