if you're "x", then rush this fraternity

This is made 100% for humor but you have to admit that this is at least somewhat true. Obviously this is highlighting the random/bad stereotypes of each house...

FRESHMEN:

-IF you're an alcoholic AND almost funked out of high school, THEN RUSH ZBT. Or if you're a music goober.

-IF it takes you longer to gel your hair than to bang an APhi AND very self-conscious, THEN RUSH SAE. Or if you love going to the gym.

-IF you love smoking AND surfing, THEN RUSH SIG EP. Or if you're from the San Diego area/like to button the very top button of shirts, you'll get an automatic bid.

-IF you're a try-hard prep AND christian, THEN RUSH SIGMA CHI. Or if you're shorter than 5'7, you'll get an automatic bid.