Sad day to be a Sammy

Just woke up next to my not-so-hot tridelt girlfriend on the gym floor. I think she sh-t herself. Wrote my daily greekrank post mandated by the house. Walked to the kitchen saying hi to the 150 invisible other members in the house when all of a sudden I found out we are moving off the row bc we have to pay lawyers to defend us against a $5M lawsuit. Immediately rushed back to my room to j-rkoff and spam greekrank to get PNMs to join the house this semester. P.S. if you look at sorority relations we are the best house on the row.