FRATS but I’ve actually been to all of them

I’ve actually been to all of the frats on the row and here is some honesty.
1. Lambda: I’ll say it before the weird troll on here does; “lambda chi hands down”. despite having a terrible party space for their register, their parties are solid. The hallway to the backyard is an accident waiting to happen but when they stick to atrium their parties are fire.
2. Sigma Chi: the pit is without a doubt the best party space on the row. These guys are hot but very into themselves. If two parties are happening on the row every girl will chose sig chi every time
3. TKE: are seconds away from falling to #4 with the rise of Sig Nu. Have been an undisputed top 3 for years but are struggling recently with sorority relations. These guys know how to have a good time and have a very strong brotherhood. Just sometimes awk at mixers and aquarium sends.
4. Sig Nu: steadily rising to be a top 3. Amazing sorority relations. The coffee counter is lit but their actual parties flop. These guys are either super nice or more snakey than that scaley guy on the first floor.
5. ZBT: might be controversial but most girls consider ZBT above AEPi and Pike. ZBT has been FUN for the last few years and are always sweeties. Securing Gabe Duncan really secured their spot. Their parties are fun but they lay pretty low.
6. Pike: Broke af but Pike Mansion keeps them notable. I’ve had friends have issues with pike spike, but their pc this spring was cute during deliveries.
7. AEPi: Have gone MIA. They had a fun tailgate w Sig chi in the fall but have otherwise been lacking. Sweet boys but poor sorority relations.
8. Chi Phi: Having betas still in their chapter has kept them afloat, but are constantly beefing w other frats. They have a cool outdoor party space but the guys are a little awkward. Satellite house is fun for tailgates but kinda keep to themselves.
9. Kappa Sigma: before the phi sigs yell at me, hear me out. I’ve been to a few of their parties this year and have honestly had a better time there than at some of the “mid tier” houses. These are the guys on the row you wanna be friends with.
10. Phi Sig: steadily increasing with good sorority relations and imported hella sand for the darty with sig chi lambda dg kappa. Their snow party was pretty fun, they go all out with decor, the guys in the house are hit or miss though. If they secure a good pc they’ll continue to grow. It seems like every guy in this frat has a girlfriend at another school.
11. Phi Delt: some of the sweetest guys on the row. Their Halloween party was actually so fun. The lasers were higher quality than anything a top house has done in years. The boys are cute but tend to stick to themselves. If they improve sorority relations, they’d raise their status.
12. DTD: I’ve stopped by DTD a few times and have always been relatively disappointing. There’s not even that many boys at their parties, it mostly just feels like an awkward prom after party. Will Ferrell is an alum tho so maybe they’re funny.
13. Phi Tau: smaller house but sweet boys. They don’t throw down that often but they’re always so nice during deliveries.