purdue alpha phi

what does alpha phi look for in pnm’s when deciding who to invite back during rush? over the summer i tried to lose weight, got highlights, learned how to do makeup and bought lots of cute clothes for rush just to be dropped after open house round. i still get flashbacks of my conversation with the girl i talked to in aphi and other girls who i really thought i hit it off with like in tri delta, dg and dz. i’m not blonde or white but i see a lot of other girls who don’t fit those descriptions in aphi. i’ve become obsessed with the girl i talked to from aphi and i stalk her instagram a lot. it felt like the houses that i had the least memorable conversations with (not good or bad, just kinda boring and easily forgettable) were the ones i got invited back to, while everyone else decided to drop me. i’ve tried changing up my personality to try and become more friendly and likable but that made everyone else drop me too. when asked why i wanted to rush i talked about how sororities are really close with each other and how i’ve always wanted to experience that and some of the girls were super accepting and kinder to me after i revealed that i didn’t have friends before rush but they all dropped me regardless. when my girl from alpha phi got to know me, she led the conversation, so was i supposed to ask her stuff back? because i tried my best to be interesting to her. why wasn’t i good enough for alpha phi or just any other house?