Mccarthy the Mongoose

I keep seeing this random post about animals, I honestly thought I was the only one to have experience with animals on campus. One night I had just taken 5mg of melatonin and rubbed some CBD oil on my face, so needless to say I was higher than a 1:37 am Taco Bell run. I was stumbling past Slayter when I saw what I thought was a Grady Eifert but turned out to be a wet mongoose. Since I was high I thought "how wet exactly is this mongoose." When I got close enough to him i could smell a faint smell of Hugo Boss as he perked up and said, "woah bro you better back up I'm from Missouri. I know how to shoot a gun, probably." He had fluffy blonde hair that puff up like a little ducky who just discovered a comb. He could tell I was high as the 6'5 guy in Sigma Chi i think his name is Darryl or Kyle or something. "hey broski i got some crystal meth" he yelled. I don't know why he yelled it, I was standing right in front of him. We then went back to my house and smoke crystal meth together. He saw I had four lokos in my fridge and cried "$10 i can shotgun a four loko." I said "please don't I'd rather not-" before I could finish his little mongoose body was going to go get that four loko. He came back with a cherry four loko and said "this goes out to my Mizzu sisters out to my Mizzu bros" he then proceeded to shotgun a four loko. He threw up immediately. I put him in his bed and gave him some melotinon and he got high and fell asleep. I miss my sweet times with my McCarthy the Mongoose.